Anger and Pride

To claim she never got angry or upset

Is to state a lie or purposely forget.

The issue is never that she did,

The question is always why she did.

A broken promise, an indifferent act,

Will anger her, that is always a fact.

People who thought she was naïve,

Will the whip of her tongue justly receive.

A beautiful flower so elegant and slick,

Yet touch her wrongly and she will prick.

No kinder heart you will ever see,

Yet hurt her pride and you better flee.

Don’t try to hold her with lock and key,

This lady was born to be always free.

First Encounter

The evening was cold without any snow,

Her eyes did twinkle her face did glow,

A hypnotic smile did her features show.

Elegantly dressed in taste and style,

Her beauty did paralyse me for a while.

She starts to speak, and her voice is low,

The words she utters do smoothly flow.

She told me all that I needed to know,

From then and thereafter I loved her so.

Fast Lane

A doctor must cure her when she is ill,

Not with advice but the appropriate pill.

Life is too precious for her to waste,

Listening to a lecture on how it to taste.

Patience may be a virtue but not for her,

She is not a kitten don’t expect her to purr.

She is on the move come rain or snow,

She has no interest in anything that is slow.

She is full of surprises and was always so,

A force of life that puzzled friend and foe.

If you’re not too clever or not too fast,

Don’t try to befriend her it will not last.

I had the privilege half her life to share,

It was full of adventure, love and care.

See her Memorials and on her photos stare,

This poetry is written for a woman so rare.

Our First Cooked Meal

No restaurants today was her declared wish

She wanted to cook for me a special dish

To Selfridges we went to buy some fish

What was on display she started to screen

She chose the one she wanted them to clean.

To the flat we returned for her to commence

Her kitchen, I was warned, has an imaginary fence

“Stay away from the kitchen you make me tense”

I did as she asked, smiled, and gave no defence.

After thirty minutes she emerged very pleased

“ You can walk into the kitchen” she now teased.

An hour passed while a card game we played,

The dish is now ready and the table was made.

She decided to feed me with her hand at first,

For her love and attention I had great thirst.

The meal was delicious and the chatter superb,

My elation and happiness was impossible to curb.

How can I forget our first home meal together

That taste of fish will remain with me forever.

Brighton

To Brighton we travelled by a luxury car

Our first trip together out of London afar.

The hotel we chose was five stars graded

Our request for a Seaview was clearly stated.

The promenade is where we daily walked,

Toffee apple she ate as we together joked.

Happiness did shine, our love was intense,

We each had a past and a history so dense,

Yet being together did to us make sense.

She by intuition and I through thought,

A life together for ourselves we bought.

Read all the poems and you will know,

Why my love for her will forever grow.

Her body did leave but her spirit is here,

We walk together along Brighton’s pier.

Wild Side Of Life

The motto by which

Our path you steered

Was life is to be tasted

And should never be feared

Obstacles you said

As you laughed and cheered

Are only put there

So as to be cleared

You taught me daily

As my lover and wife

How to happily dance

On the wild side of life

Together

Your name became

The song that I sing

It matches the thrill

Your smile does bring

Your intuitive mind

Never let you down

Free to choose was

Your priceless crown

Happily we walked

A path we chalked

On the road of life

As husband and wife

Thirty six years passed

Us huddled together

Planning for tomorrows

That would last forever

The thrill that I felt

The first day we met

Intensified itself

With every sunset

Our days were sunny

Our sky was blue

Some days it rained

But very few

Life did smile

For me and you.

Embrace

You gave me most of what is you

But you also needed your space too

My love for you was so intense

It became more in time, never less

You embraced me tight with all your might

Even when I was out of your sight

I knew, my darling, from the start

That no one but you will fill my heart.

There was no price I was unwilling to pay

To make your smile permanently stay

And when some pot holes were in our way

We easily crossed them be it night or day.

I wanted with you to always be

Happily in love, with spirits free.

Fate blocked our earthly street

Your trip to heaven is now complete

One day again we will duly meet

In gardens so lovely and air so sweet

And when we meet in that heavenly place

We will forever each other embrace.

Calendar

In a dream you came to me and said

How long since I have been dead

“Yesterday”, I replied, while still in bed

You smiled at me and shook your head

You pulled a stone and from it you read

The years and months since you were dead.

I woke up with one thought in mind

Such a Calendar should be by my side

A software tracker in the Cloud

To continuously state without any sound

The time elapsed since you were around

A trusted son to maintaining it vowed

When I will reside beneath the ground.

A physical tracker I will also build

In white marble it will be drilled

The years and months will be stated

The time elapsed will always be dated

The world will count how long you’ve gone

Day by day , on and on, from dawn to dawn

No curtain will, on your memory be drawn

Patio

I wanted a patio where I can fast-walk

Inside our garden, where no one can gawk

You asked if I’d use it or is it just talk

I said from its use I will never balk

You proceeded to build one just for me

Two weeks later it was a marvel to see

Your talent in building did always show

No matter what’s needed, you always know

Ten years passed by and to heaven you went

To protecting your memory, my time, I spent

On the patio, marble plaques I did cement

Some were straight, others at an angle bent

On each of them a poem of mine I engraved

Describing how with love my life you paved

Around the patio there are lanes of lawn

Its grass glittering with dew at dawn

On these lanes marble frames, I did fit

Carrying photos of you which at night are lit

The patio you built is now designed to say

You are here with me; you are never away.

Remembrance Pole

Thirty-six years of loving each other

It started in Fall and ended in Winter

The dates are engraved on the pole of remember

When joy started it was the seventeenth of September

It was in London, to you my heart I did surrender

When sadness struck it was the third of March

The day you walked through heavens arch

Two years have passed since you’re gone

You are on my mind from dawn to dawn

There is no other and will never be

For in my heart only you I see

When I feel low and seek to refresh my soul

I go and stand at the remembrance pole

A symbol it is of the time we had

I wish I could more days to add

Every story in time I suppose must end

Through my poems to you my love I send

Hide

Its Sunday so in your car I hide

Imagining that you are by my side

Into our memories I smoothly glide

I remember how we drove around

I smell your perfume, I hear your sound

I see the places we used to see

I feel how happy we used to be

Together always just you and me

The engine runs idle, the car is still

It does what I want, it knows the drill

It helps me to hide, as my emotions spill

I dream of your presence, I seek that thrill

I know I am alone, but I refuse to be

For in your car I am from reality free

On Sundays I hide myself in your car

Imagining what we were is what we are

Room in the Sky

A room I built whose walls are high

No ceiling it has just the sky

One wall speaks as to who you are

The other replies that you are my star

I sit in a corner and at your photo gaze

Drunk with your memories and in a daze

I look up to the heavens, I see your face

My body then shivers, I feel your embrace

In that room in the sky, in its enclosed space

I see your beauty, your elegance, your grace

My mind races to cuddle your every trace

I close my eyes as our togetherness I chase

Memories of happiness dance in this place.

Visions of Yesterday

I sat in my balcony when the lights went on

I saw many photos of you, of times now gone

Sprinkled among trees and embraced by a lawn

Courted by poems from dawn to dawn

Each photo of them does a story tell

Of happy memories on which I dwell

Each photo resides in a large marble frame

One meter in height towards the sky they aim

The photos are different, but the frames are the same

Saadia’s Memorial Garden is its given name

Each photo opens for me a very large door

Through it my mind sees a very vast store

Stacked with shelves from ceiling to floor

Checking these shelves becomes my chore

I start to focus on every shelf I can see

Each holds a story about my life with thee

These doses of memories, to my soul, I give

They teach me how with my grief, to live

My time is frozen, its minutes are ignored

As I delve into where those memories are stored

Bubble

I dreamt you asked me how am I

In a poem, my darling, I will reply

A bubble around me I did create

So my sad emotions I can sedate

Its surfaces are bright and wide

Poems and photos on every side

Into this enclosure I daily glide

Feeling your presence at my side

Beautiful, elegant and full of pride.

Illusion they are, many will say,

Yet I hug them dearly every day.

Time I am told will heal for sure

Life In my bubble is my only cure.

Villa Surprise

I told her once about a Christmas tree

My father yearly did decorate for me

From that day on with love did she

Make me a tree to enjoy and see.

I told her once of a house on a cloud

No rooms no doors but space abound

She built me one, it made me proud

We lived in it away from the crowd.

When she left to the place in the sky,

A Memorial it became as my goodbye.

If you read the poems that are there

And on her photos, you carefully stare

You would see a lady unique and rare.

Two Pillars

Each other’s privacy

We always protected

Our possessions we

Separately documented

Stand-alone pillars

Yet always connected

Being always together

Is what we selected

We rarely behaved like

What traditions expected

The choices we made

Could not be predicted.

No biological offsprings

Did you and I have

Yet some did chose

To call us Mum and Dad

Teaching and love

From us they had.

Cyprus

Two months in Cyprus each year we spent

Hilton and Four Seasons we did frequent.

I had work there, you had your niece,

The fun we enjoyed did never cease.

From London we flew when time was due,

To London we returned just me and you.

Up in the clouds we talked and laughed,

The world by the collar we always grabbed.

Your presence beside me was all I wanted,

Minutes together I cherished and hunted.

Cyprus my darling was not special to me,

What was special was the presence of thee.

Fasting at Selfridges

One month in a year we did together fast

From sunrise to sunset did our hunger last

When time was due for our fast to break

At Selfridges in London our food we’d take

I meet you there at the store’s front door

Leaving my office to be there at four.

To the shop’s bakery we together walk

You hold my arm while we chat and talk

You choose the bread you wish to buy

Something different you’d always try.

To the fourth floor we then together go

Where their self-service food is on show

You move around, their food to see

Making choices for you and me

I find a table, isolated and free

By a big window near a pot with a tree

Your trays are now full; they are three

Its self-service for others but not for thee

A waiter would help you, sometimes two

Your trays in a trolly just like a cabin crew

Our table you set, I dispose of the trays

We begin to eat as the sun hides its rays.

Oh, how I long to relive our every day

But nothing is forever, was destiny’s say

Maroosh

In Edgware Road to a restaurant, we’d go

It had Lebanese food, live music and a show

Maroosh was the restaurant’s given name

Others imitated it but were not the same

A corner table we choose, away from the crowd

Protecting ourselves if the music becomes loud

Mezza, we order which is your favourite treat

Thirty-six small dishes of pastry, salads and meat

More dishes get added, the empty ones removed

The ones you do not like, from our table we boot

For drinks, I chose Arak, you prefer red wine

A light nearby makes your beautiful face shine

The evening starts with their resident band

A group follows that has a well-known brand

Young and dynamic, all very well-tanned

A belly dancer then follows, we’ve seen her before

She moves with precision, her feet firm on the floor

The singer that follows is someone you like

He sings love songs while holding his mike

He comes to our table, just for you to sing

Other diners clap, and some start to swing

Your beauty does add to his song a zing

To your face, his gesture, a laugh does bring

You always are the centre of my everything

The happy evening has ended, it is time to go

The taxi is waiting, our time he does know

Hand in hand we walk into the moon lit night

Two lovers that decided a joint destiny to write

Those who have not tasted how true love can be

Can never understand how much I miss thee

Geneva

In Geneva we had a thrilling time,

You spoke the language I did the mime.

Rue de Rohn was our chosen street,

My office was there where we daily meet.

The hotel we stayed overlooked the lake,

Restaurants we chose served chips and steak.

No day passed by that was not fun,

No matter if the day had rain or sun.

The days my lovely would come and go,

Deeper and deeper did my love grow

You were to me, and you will always be,

The one who taught me how beauty to see.

Lausanne

Lausanne is a city you’d wanted to go

To a restaurant on the lake, that we do know

Where near its tables the water does flow

They served Perch fish, which in butter they fry

We’d had it for lunch sitting under the sky

Sweets they then offered for us to try

Espresso was served, with cream standing by.

I know your actions are difficult to predict

You smile and laugh when that fact I admit

As we were relaxing on the chairs on which we sit

You suddenly decided to dip your feet in the lake

Your chair towards the water, I then did take

You slipped of your mules, your feet were bare

You turned up your trousers with delicacy and care

You then dipped your feet, with elegance and flair

The water is cold was the comment you made

But dipped in the water your feet remained

I instructed the waiter two towels to bring

You dried your feet so no water would cling

You asked me if I wanted to dip my feet too

Smiling for knowing it’s something I will not do

Whenever we confronted something new

The banner of trying, was carried by you

With love for adventure and courage for two

You safely danced with life, like a few can do

New York

To New York we regularly went

Time in the air on Virgin we spent

Sofitel is the hotel at which we stayed

From Manhattan we rarely ever strayed

Two connected rooms was our usual set

On luxury and comfort we always bet

Fifth Avenue is where we usually walked

Bryant Park is where we daily strolled

Our morning visit to Macy’s is a must

In Bloomingdale and Saks we also trust

Steak or fish was our lunch menu

Although Italian was an option too

Grand Central station was also a treat

If busy New Yorkers we wanted to meet

Room service at dinner was our choice

Always together, our life we rejoice

Time to say to New York goodbye

Back to London we happily fly

Life with Saadia was always fun

She will forever be the only one.

Marrakech

Four times to Marrakech

We go every year

I sit beside you

While the car you steer

One week we spend on every trip

Rarely allowing any minute to slip

Breakfast at the motorway is a must

At the only coffee shop that you trust

The Radisson is our hotel’s name

The rooms are ready; always the same

Lunch and dinner at our Italian bistro

Our table is booked six days in a row.

We go to the shops; we talk and joke

A simple life, for a lass and bloke.

It’s time to go, our clothes we pack

Suitcases ready, into the car they stack.

We travel back with the morning sun

A week of happiness, love and fun.

Sittee Fatima

To the mountains we would together go

In a car with its driver told to drive slow

Roads that are narrow, valleys so deep

Rocks protruding, majestic and steep

The village we reach overlooking a stream

From high up we see its mesmerising gleam

We walk together towards the local Café

With wooden tables and glass-cups in a tray

This is the place where, for lunch, we stay

I take my seat; to the butchers you go

To choose the meat; carefully and slow

You know exactly what meat to choose

If the butcher argues, he will certainly lose

The meat is minced so it is easy to chew

Condiments are added and parsley too

The awaiting flames are yellow and blue.

You order the drinks and also the brew

The table is set, supervised by you

With fresh baked bread and salads too

The meat is cooking, while I go to the loo,

You smiled; my move is well known to you

The scene in now ready for our barbeque.

The charcoaled meat on our table is set

It’s clear to me that your satisfaction is met

Never would I start to eat before you do

Years upon years, you know that’s always true

You are, my dearest, the first in any queue

Your number is always one, it is never two

My life with you is so enjoyable and fun

Excitement and happiness from sun to sun

The sweets we eat are chocolates you brought

From a selection you know I always sought.

Our day at Sittee Fatima now comes to an end

We drive back home on narrow roads that bend.

Italian

An Italian Restaurant where we went to eat

At Marble Arch at the corner of a side street

For fifteen years for lunch, we went

Until its owner cancelled his rent

Your favourite dish that all waiters knew

Was sautéed calf liver with spaghetti too

Arrabiata was the spaghetti you’d pick

With shavings of cheese from a Parmesan brick

A basket of bread was on your table set

It included Ciabbata was a very sure bet

A mixed salad is what the Chef did send

Lettuce, cucumbers in vinegar and oil blend

With black olives sprinkled on the salad’s face

Its pips removed leaving no trace.

The drink they bring must with ice cubes glow

It must always have a protruding straw

Profiteroles were your selected sweet

Espresso with cream was your final treat

Life with you was a non-ending feast

Where excitement and love never ceased.

The M&S Incident

At the M&S shop in Oxford Street

We had planned together to meet

On its three floors and many aisles

Shoppers buying clothes of different styles

As you walked in the lanes of the shop

You would occasionally at a section stop

Suddenly a young girl held your hand

She had blue eyes and hair the colour of sand

“Mummy” she said, “where have you been”

A four-year-old that you have never seen

You looked at her with your beautiful smile

Crouching near her in the shopping aisle

“I am not your mummy”, you gently proclaimed

Yet holding your hand, she just remained

A salesgirl you ushered, she was suitably trained

The matter to her, you carefully explained

The mother they found, she was emotionally drained.

Many such stories of incidents I can tell

Where children towards you move and dwell

It happened on aeroplanes and in restaurants too

They leave where they are sitting and come to you

A halo of love that around you does float

It’s a message from heaven, that angels have wrote

Anyone that meets you, its presence does note

Bangalow

We had a bungalow by the sea

From its terrace the sea we see

In the morning, at it we stare

As our breakfast we happily share

Croissant and coffee were our treat

Making us ready our day to meet

I then go for my six-mile walk

You go to see your Mum and folk

A close by house was our other stay

Lunch and dinner the cook would lay

From where we eat the sea we see

Enjoying the food, just you and me.

Happiness is easy when you are in love

Sharing your life like a hand in a glove

At town by the sea, our happiness came

A Darwish’s memorial is its claim to fame

Sidi Bu Zaid was the town and his name

Her Trees

Small trees she planted

In our garden one fall

With the hope they become

Both large and tall.

We watched them grow

From fall to fall.

Ten years passed by

Those trees she planted

Are now large and tall.

To the doors of heaven

She received her call

I wish those trees

Were still just small.

Saadia’s Birds

Something strange seems happening

Maybe it is true or am I just imagining

When a new memorial to your garden is done

Birds sit on your tree with the next rising sun

They congregate in one small space

Looking at each other face to face

They start to sing, chirp and tweet

Holding tight on the branch with their feet

I sit in the garden in my usual seat

Listening to them; it’s such a treat

I think I hear your name being said

I now see on your tree a golden thread

From branch to branch it seems to spread

This pumps my heart and spins my head

Ten minutes later the birds have fled

No more do I see that golden thread.

Limassol

A restaurant in Limassol with a family brand

That was situated overlooking both sea and sand

It was sitting on a hilltop on a secluded land

We saw it by accident, nothing was planned

A mother and daughter did run the place

Life there seemed to flow at a very slow pace

We were impressed by the view of the sea

I chose a table which had chairs and settee

Into their kitchen you were invited to walk

Recipes with the mother you started to talk

She was fascinated by how much you knew

She did not expect that from a lady like you

Your beauty was stunning, your interest true

Such abundance of grace God gave to only few

Your smile does capture anyone you’d meet

You are always given the most prominent seat

I ordered a selection of most what she got

Both her cold dishes and the ones that are hot

She said that’s too much for we are only two

You knew I would do that, as I always do

We had our lunch, the mother offered us tea

We said goodbye to the hill overlooking the sea.

Saadia’s Numbers

Memories of stories you once told

Its details in this poem I’ll unfold

It was about when you were at school

You were attentive, focused and cool

In numbers you were the class master

In answers no student was ever faster

Your Mum’s shop-dealings in you she entrusted

For your Dad’s his overtime you added or deducted

No number can hide from your probing eyes

No one can trick you, no one even tries

Numbers my darling danced to your tune

You captured them like soup in a spoon

No paper or pen did you want or need

Your memory alone completed any deed

Thirty six is the number dearest to me

It’s the years I spent together with thee

Our Song

We sang a song of joy and hope

We climbed together every slope

Everything was within our scope

Never did we say we will not cope.

Tomorrow will follow each today

Forever young we decided to stay.

Destiny laughed and had its say

March the third was her final day

Even in a grave as she silently lay,

You hear her sing “I did it my way”

Land of Dreams

Children to her presence gyrate,

Love and affection she does vibrate.

Grownups try to seek her attention,

Only a few can make that connection.

The needy she does try to support,

But only based on terms she thought.

In her good books if you aim to stay,

Do not from her set lanes stray.

If she perceives that you are a foe,

Forgiveness she will rarely show.

My sweetheart is from a land of dreams,

Where right and wrong are clearcut themes.

I know

I know what you want

I will do that for you

Everything you desire

I will always do that too.

You may not say in words now

Actions I know you seek,

Our lifetime of love together

Makes me hear

What you do not speak.

You are me and I am you

That, my darling, is always true

I know what I must do now

I will do it in memory of you.

Let me be

Hoping to cause my grief to flee

Science wanted to console me

On the death of my beloved she

His statements were only three

Atoms from her every breath

Photons from her every smile

Waves from her every sound

These, he said, are still around.

I looked Science in the eye

So he could my feelings see

And said to my trusted friend

Don’t ask me how but so is she

Now walk away and let me be

The feeling that she is around

Is like a shroud covering me

Happy Days

A home at Hyde Park is where we lived

Our shopping at Queensway we daily did.

At Oxford Street our happy day begun

Selfridges by taxi was a very short run.

The Royal China is where we daily eat

Dim Sum at lunch both salty and sweet.

Our afternoons are at Westfield mall,

Leisurely visiting each shop and stall.

Laughing, joking and mimicking in jest

Always together and away from the rest.

Puzzled she chooses one of two vests,

I add to the basket the one she had left.

A jacket she found that was a bit tight,

We actively pursue the one that is right.

The time was ripe to return to our home

But not before a stop at Whitely’s dome.

A choice needs to be made on our supper

Which takeaway today this or the other

Porchester Spa

A Turkish bath and a sauna too

Twice a week that ritual you do

The ritual then needs to complete

At a hairdresser’s welcoming seat

Is it Marcia today, or is it John

Your hair, either, will focus on

Until you say: yes it is done.

You are now ready for us to meet

For a Dim Sum lunch, salty and sweet

With hugs and kisses we each other greet

My heart sings joy with its every beat

Hand in hand we walk the street.

Sorry

I happily said to her that I am sorry,

Even if I was not the cause of her worry.

I told her always that she is never wrong,

I repeated that to her like a lovely song.

In any game of cards I’d let her win,

To let her loose would be a sin

In a bet we make, and I happen to win

I refuse to collect and just enjoy her grin

If my self-control did temporarily flee,

One smile from her, swiftly calms me.

A problem of hers together we solved,

Even if it was better not be involved.

A dish she disliked, I would not eat

A person she avoids I refuse to meet.

We joked and laughed just she and me,

The world around us we chose not to see.

She has gone now to that palace in the sky

I will never forget her, I refuse even to try

Her bones are buried but not her soul

She walks by my side to make me whole

I am sorry in body she is no longer with me

But wherever I look, her lovely face, I do see.

Two years have passed on that dreaded day

When fate decided my sweetheart to slay

My dearest I’m sorry, what else can I say

Your heart just stopped pumping away

In a hospital you were, with attention and care

Yet fate decided that no tomorrows we’ll share

London October 2023

London asked me if you are returning to join me after a while

When I sadly replied no its streets became troubled and hostile

Selfridges and Harrods turned dark in the absence of your smile

Westfield Mall appeared puzzled seeing me alone in its aisle

Royal China draped our usual table with a black cloth for a while

We miss her too, yelled London, for she had beauty and style

London, my adorable Saadia, is in love with you in her every mile.

Lunch at Mazagan

Lunch at George was our usual meet,

Buda Bar was our summer treat,

Always together our lunch we eat.

Your chosen dish must always be there,

No Cook can claim he is not aware.

You’re always polite and always fair,

Happiness around you filled the air.

Now that you are in heaven’s care,

Lunch with angels is what you share.

Master Cook

A toy kitchen was from her father a gift,

Utensils, an oven and a spoon with tilt.

With zeal she played and was nimble and swift.

She grew up to become a very talented cook,

Tasty dishes she never copied from any book.

Those restaurants at which we regularly ate,

Their cooks did ask for her opinion straight.

A dish she liked with words she will say so,

If she did not, a silent smile will let them know.

No matter the country their dish was from,

A similar dish from her kitchen would come.

This talent she had did from intuition grow,

Like her many talents that I adorably saw.

She mastered any task she decided to do,

Such blessing is given by God to very few.

Now that my lovely to the heavens belong,

Her memory lives through poems and song.

Hyde Park

Picnic at Hyde Park was the plan

Her kitchen preparation then began.

I argued for takeaway sandwiches instead

She looked at me and her face was red

Nothing further on the subject was said.

Meatballs in French bread was her first dish

Accompanied by sliced loaf with tuna fish.

Each sandwich was artistically made

With lattice and cucumbers perfectly laid.

A side dish of coleslaw she also prepared

Fluffed in mayonnaise and with basil sprayed.

I was invited to taste her sugary drink,

It was a lemonade coloured in pink.

Her jeans she wore with matching shoes

My wrong choice of blanket had no excuse.

On the grass we settled in a secluded place,

Until some kids decided near us to race.

We laughed and joked as we drank and ate

Like two people in love on their first date.

My Beloved She

In numbers and faces she has no match

Your fast throw she will always catch.

Don’t try to fiddle when she is involved,

Her anger will bubble your plan will not hold.

Any trick you master, through it she’ll see

Nothing can prevent her from being free

No one does own her, not even me.

Devotion to truth is her trusted key,

Pride and liberty are what makes her ‘she’

Love and trust are what she had for me.

Open Gates

When with you we are rarely stopped

If I am alone, I am regularly blocked

One look at you and the gates just open

All eyes are at you focused and frozen

Guards mesmerised, no word is spoken

A smile from you, all barriers are broken

You then walk through, I quietly follow

What was a barrier turns into a hollow.

Your passing away was shockingly sudden

No stops for you at the gates of heaven

I now, my lovely, stand at gates alone

My right for passage has been withdrawn

Guards just starring, their faces like stone.

Forever Smitten

Close your eyes and just imagine

A beauty full of love and passion

Dressed in style and subtle fashion

She smiles at you in a way unseen

You suddenly halt like a dud machine

On yesterdays you are no more keen

Nor on places you have before been.

You used to think you knew the score

But who you were you are no more.

You wait for what will happen next

There is no guide, message or text.

Luck smiled, your destiny was written

With her love you are forever smitten.

Thirty six years of happiness and bliss

Every second of which you dearly miss.

Super Saadia

It is the case, and always true

Usual rules do not apply to you.

People who link to thee can see

Someone special, clever and free.

They will accept for you to do

What no other is allowed like you.

When by a rule you did not abide

You did so with finesse, skill and pride.

Don’t ask me how or even when,

But she and I will break rules again.

Her body has gone but she is here,

Teaching me how no rule to fear.

The Child

Childhood memories

With me you shared

A five-year-old girl

Inquisitive and daring

The cow that you milked

The camel that you poked

The birds you caressed

The flute that you made

The bread that you baked

The fruits you collected

The trees you climbed

A daring child you were

With memories so rare.

Siblings

At a very young age

Orphans they were,

You held them close

And gave them care.

You battled on without despair

You did it all with gusto and flair.

A Sister you were like no other,

Taking the role of Father and Mother.

To me you are, and will always be

The one that changed my ‘I’ to ‘we’.

Surbiton

To Surbiton we went my parents to see

They happily met us with joy and glee

They treasured their lovely daughter to be

Mesmerised like all by the beauty they see

That gorgeous Saadia always lively and free.

A restaurant on the river we have our lunch

Laughing and joking like any friendly bunch

My Father talks about the ducks he feed

My Mum describes a jacket from tweed

They love how you listen to their chatter

As if what they say does really matter

Each visit to Surbiton invited another

Autumn, winter, spring and summer.

These days are gone and yours are too

Restoring them with a poem is all I can do.

The Garden

I saw a flickering light in the sky,

Could that be my sweetheart winking at me?

I felt a breezy movement in the air,

Could that be my sweetheart waving at me?

I heard a sound of rustling leaves,

Could that be my sweetheart whispering to me?

There is a smile in the heavens

My sweetheart is always alive in me.

The Puzzle

Nobody knows

What Saadia will do

Don’t try to guess

You’ll have no clue.

Don’t even ask

Her words are few.

Just sit and watch

Her actions sparkle

As they majestically flew.

Her every move

Is sudden and new

To her yesterdays

She will never glue

Yet to justice she is

Forever true

Giving to all

Whatever is due.

No cage can hold her

She never bends the knee

Always intuitive

Always free

A lovely puzzle

Adorable was she

Her only constant

Was her love for me.

The Court Case

You felt that your Mum was slighted

You proceeded to court to fight it.

No judge can stand in your way,

You’ve decided to win come what may.

It was true that right was on your side,

But in court sometimes the truth can hide.

You fought against the inheritance thief,

You won your case to your Mum’s relief.

It was not the money that you were after,

It was to get your Mum her rightful answer.

No doubt remains from then and thereafter

You are and will always be the legal master.

The Play

You passed away, your pride intact

All life must end, this is a fact.

I hoped together we always stay,

From each other we would not stray

But in the end fate had its say.

Two actors in love in a happy Play,

One still remains, one passed away

The void that’s left lives night and day

It cannot be filled come what may.

On your memories I, constantly dwell

Thinking of tomorrow ,is a very hard sell.

Life must go on, is the common say

It is, I’m told, the Shakespearean way

For we are but actors on stage in a Play.

You are my love and you will always be

No one but you will share a stage with me.

Saadia’s Glittering Garden

From far away her garden does glitter

Whether it is spring, summer or winter.

It shines to say here resides the queen

A beauty like hers was rarely ever seen

A mind that sparkles, on results so keen

A spirit so generous and never mean

Stare and focus at that shiny scene

You will understand what I do mean.

The heavens did open; her body gone

Yet her memory lingers on and on

Goodbye is what I refuse to say

I’ll behave as if she is here to stay

It may appear that I have lost my way

But to me things are as clear as day

She is not made from bones or from clay

But from a soul that you cannot ever slay

Her spirit is with me, it’s never away

From that strong belief I’ll never stray.

The Sky

When I looked to the sky

Her lovely face I did see,

With her adorable smile

She gazed lovingly at me.

An illusion you may say

Logically that may be

Yet when I looked again

She did wink at me.

My spirit started to dance

From rationality I am free

Her lovely face in the sky

I am blessed to always see.

Saadia’s Wings

You flew so high

No springs or strings

Your Mum and I

Were your only wings.

To heaven you flew

And so, did she

A broken wing

Is what is left of me.

A glass-room I created

In our garden situated

Sun rays it brings

While the wind sings

The seashore is near

Its sound is clear

This I did with joy and pride

To feel your presence

Close by my side.

I sit in that glass-room

With heartbeats that sing

Basking in the pleasure

That your memories bring

Tokyo

You went happily to Tokyo with me

A factory I built I wanted you to see.

No matter where in Japan you went

Your beauty did stun anyone we met.

To Beppu we travelled in mountains afar

You were treated there like a movie star.

Wherever we went you were elegantly dressed

In character and tone you were always the best.

Our trip to Tokyo no one will ever forget,

You sparkled and shone like a sun in a net.

The time did come for you ‘Tokyo’ to leave,

All that remains is sorrow, sadness and grieve.

Travel Shopping

Her choice of clothes was elegant and classic,

Whatever she wore the impact was dramatic.

Four garments she liked, one I was to choose

I selected the one that was fluffy and loose.

As she moved on to other choices to make,

I added the three she liked but didn’t take.

She looks at the basket and sees what I did,

She smiles at me as if I was a naughty kid.

To the shoe department we now proceed

In finding a suitable pair we do succeed.

Style is important but comfort is a must

The pair we find in its comfort we trust.

Three of the same I insist that we buy

She reluctantly agrees with a hesitant sigh.

To our hotel we return for rest and tea

Packages in hand from our shopping spree.

An additional suitcase now needs to be

I think may be two; tomorrow we will see.

Saadia’s Horses

On a road which you regularly take

Horses cross for their morning break

They move ignoring all cars but yours

But once you are seen the horses pause

Their jockeys on their stirrups stand

Each jokey smiles and waves his hand

They are happy to see your smiling face

They feel like winners of an important race

Your stunning beauty makes them feel

Ready to face their chores with zeal

I felt the same with your every kiss

Life in your presence was such a bliss

I believe so strongly in my every strand

That God on your face did wipe his hand.

Hello Chocolate

You told me stories about your youth

Of comments made that were uncouth

As summer arrived and you were sun-tanned

Hello chocolate was the comment men had

When winter came and your tan went

Hello biscuit was the comment they sent

Your beauty my dearest does mesmerise

Hence such compliments will be no surprise

Thirty six happy years we were together

As my wife, my friend, and always my lover

Your beauty throughout was like no other

The years passed by but it did not matter

Your loveliness shined no matter the colour

A beauty so stunning in winter and summer

Saadia’s Dress

The world without you is no more the same

I needed something or someone to blame

A diversion maybe for my pain to tame.

You’re gone now into that big sleep

I must try hard my sanity to keep

Or else I’ll fall in a depression so deep.

A poem I remembered that I wrote for you

About a dress that was green and blue

You elegantly wore the first time we met

A lifetime of love that meeting did set

The words of the poem that you heard

Made your tears flow, and your vision blurred

You looked at me and lovingly said

I liked my darling what you just read

This story did put in my head

That poetry will be my needed Med.

Poems I’ll write for your memory’s sake

Of stories we did, together make

So that my heart, that does so ache

Feels you’re alive, and fully awake.

I travel a road of memories with you

Full of poems and photos too

Without this road that I daily take

I know very well my spirit will break.

Let my poems set me free

In them you are always with me.

Visions

On every branch of every tree

On every wave travelling the sea

At every table and on every settee

I see your face smiling at me

Wherever I look there it will be

Gazing at me with joy and glee

These visions I have hold a magic key

They open my soul and make me free

To talk to you and you to talk to me

We laugh and joke like it used to be

Reality cannot keep me from thee

And if it tries from its chains I’ll flee.

The Jewel

There was a jewel that was so rare

That is now in heaven, in God’s care

By keeping her memory always alive

Allows my spirit to flourish and thrive

Traditions of sorrow I will not heed

Saadia is with me in word and deed

Memorials for her I will always build

I see her smile in every one that I did

There is no reason ambition or cause

That will make me stop or even pause