Anger and Pride

To claim she never got angry or upset

Is to state a lie or purposely forget.

The issue is never that she did,

The question is always why she did.

A broken promise, an indifferent act,

Will anger her, that is always a fact.

People who thought she was naïve,

Will the whip of her tongue justly receive.

A beautiful flower so elegant and slick,

Yet touch her wrongly and she will prick.

No kinder heart you will ever see,

Yet hurt her pride and you better flee.

Don’t try to hold her with lock and key,

This lady was born to be always free.

Winner

Saadia rarely did ask; yet she was always given

With a fighting spirit, she was always driven.

Come what may, with her task at hand

The right result she will always land.

Refusing to settle for any castles of sand

Dwellings of bricks she does understand

Dreamers with dreams she would reject

Proven success is what she would expect

Promises are good to soothe the ear

At trusting them, she will always sneer

Only legal documents will make her cheer

To your requests she will listen and hear

If with her task they do not interfere

She always knows how best to be

A judge and jury, is my lovely she

She is fair and just, with a spirit so free

She travels on roads that she deems clear

But never because of any personal fear

In troubles she knows how best to steer

But always it is with her forward gear

Mistakes, if any, she just brushes aside

With wisdom and skill, new options she’d find.

At seventy-three, her bell did toll

To the gates of heaven, she received her call

Her body she left, swiftly with pride

The banner of a winner laid by her side

First Encounter

The evening was cold without any snow,

Her eyes did twinkle her face did glow,

A hypnotic smile did her features show.

Elegantly dressed in taste and style,

Her beauty did paralyse me for a while.

She starts to speak, and her voice is low,

The words she utters do smoothly flow.

She told me all that I needed to know,

From then and thereafter I loved her so.

Fast Lane

A doctor must cure her when she is ill,

Not with advice but the appropriate pill.

Life is too precious for her to waste,

Listening to a lecture on how it to taste.

Patience may be a virtue but not for her,

She is not a kitten don’t expect her to purr.

She is on the move come rain or snow,

She has no interest in anything that is slow.

She is full of surprises and was always so,

A force of life that puzzled friend and foe.

If you’re not too clever or not too fast,

Don’t try to befriend her it will not last.

I had the privilege half her life to share,

It was full of adventure, love and care.

See her Memorials and on her photos stare,

This poetry is written for a woman so rare.

Psychosomatic

A story you told me about your Mum

When you were young, four years and some

If someone talked about an illness to you

You seem to think you have that illness too

A solution, your Mum, did show

Hand in hand, to a hospital, you’d go

She did not attempt to take you in

But stood at the door, with a grin

Your “illness” then just disappears

Your imagined symptoms, miraculously, clears.

Days went by, with clocks ding-dong

You became a woman, decisive and strong

Weakness around you, did not stay long

You knew how dark the world truly is

But decided to give, hearing about misery, a miss

The people you choose, in your company, to be

Are those that invite you, their happiness, to see

If some decide, about their burdens, to talk

That is your clue, away from them, to walk

A problem you have, in silence, you’d bear

It, with others, you will not discuss or share

With focused attention, alertness and care

A solution you’d find with finesse and dare.

A loved one’s problem, you treat as your own

Letting them decide, once a solution you’ve shown

Success was yours, in every aspect of life

In happiness you drenched me as my lover and wife

Our First Cooked Meal

No restaurants today was her declared wish

She wanted to cook for me a special dish

To Selfridges we went to buy some fish

What was on display she started to screen

She chose the one she wanted them to clean.

To the flat we returned for her to commence

Her kitchen, I was warned, has an imaginary fence

“Stay away from the kitchen you make me tense”

I did as she asked, smiled, and gave no defence.

After thirty minutes she emerged very pleased

“ You can walk into the kitchen” she now teased.

An hour passed while a card game we played,

The dish is now ready and the table was made.

She decided to feed me with her hand at first,

For her love and attention I had great thirst.

The meal was delicious and the chatter superb,

My elation and happiness was impossible to curb.

How can I forget our first home meal together

That taste of fish will remain with me forever.

Brighton

To Brighton we travelled by a luxury car

Our first trip together out of London afar.

The hotel we chose was five stars graded

Our request for a Seaview was clearly stated.

The promenade is where we daily walked,

Toffee apple she ate as we together joked.

Happiness did shine, our love was intense,

We each had a past and a history so dense,

Yet being together did to us make sense.

She by intuition and I through thought,

A life together for ourselves we bought.

Read all the poems and you will know,

Why my love for her will forever grow.

Her body did leave but her spirit is here,

We walk together along Brighton’s pier.

Wild Side Of Life

The motto by which

Our path you steered

Was life is to be tasted

And should never be feared

Obstacles you said

As you laughed and cheered

Are only put there

So as to be cleared

You taught me daily

As my lover and wife

How to happily dance

On the wild side of life

Together

Your name became

The song that I sing

It matches the thrill

Your smile does bring

Your intuitive mind

Never let you down

Free to choose was

Your priceless crown

Happily we walked

A path we chalked

On the road of life

As husband and wife

Thirty six years passed

Us huddled together

Planning for tomorrows

That would last forever

The thrill that I felt

The first day we met

Intensified itself

With every sunset

Our days were sunny

Our sky was blue

Some days it rained

But very few

Life did smile

For me and you.

Embrace

You gave me most of what is you

But you also needed your space too

My love for you was so intense

It became more in time, never less

You embraced me tight with all your might

Even when I was out of your sight

I knew, my darling, from the start

That no one but you will fill my heart.

There was no price I was unwilling to pay

To make your smile permanently stay

And when some pot holes were in our way

We easily crossed them be it night or day.

I wanted with you to always be

Happily in love, with spirits free.

Fate blocked our earthly street

Your trip to heaven is now complete

One day again we will duly meet

In gardens so lovely and air so sweet

And when we meet in that heavenly place

We will forever each other embrace.

Calendar

In a dream you came to me and said

How long since I have been dead

“Yesterday”, I replied, while still in bed

You smiled at me and shook your head

You pulled a stone and from it you read

The years and months since you were dead.

I woke up with one thought in mind

Such a Calendar should be by my side

A software tracker in the Cloud

To continuously state without any sound

The time elapsed since you were around

A trusted son to maintaining it vowed

When I will reside beneath the ground.

A physical tracker I will also build

In white marble it will be drilled

The years and months will be stated

The time elapsed will always be dated

The world will count how long you’ve gone

Day by day , on and on, from dawn to dawn

No curtain will, on your memory be drawn

As time goes by

Two and a half years have now passed

Since Saadia and I, were together last

My marble Calendar did talk to me

Her dials displaying elapsed time to see

In her words, I sensed, there was plea

“She is in your heart and will always be

I see her seated like a queen

A beauty like no other, I have ever seen”.

My brain responded, “we will see her no more”

My heart jumped in to correct the score

“Speak for yourself”, my heart did yell

“Inside me, only she will dwell

And until destiny rings my bell

Poems of love for her you’ll tell

Through those poems you keep her alive

Blood I will pump, words you will drive”

My heart was now beating like a drum

The words he uttered, my feelings did sum

My brain went quiet, silent in shame

Trained in logic, this was his claim

He was now given a purpose, an aim

Through poetry, my grief, he is to tame

One More Day

Tomorrow is one more day

Since heaven took her away

Tomorrow is one more day

Without Saadia I will stay

Tomorrow is one more day

The game of life, alone, I must play

Tomorrow is one more day

My name I will not hear her say

Tomorrow is one more day

When by her side I will not lay

Tomorrow is one more day

Whose colours are black or grey

Tomorrow is one more day

On the alter of her memories I will pray

Tomorrow is one more day

That repeats the sadness of today

Tomorrow is one more day

That my grief I will attempt to slay

With poems of love, that I convey

In her memory, on a silver tray

Tomorrow is one more day

That my love for her will never sway

The way it was, so it will stay

She is here

I listen to songs she listened to

I remember things she used to do

Comments she made, her actions too

How well matched is our world view

I live my life as if she is here

Her voice I hear, soft and clear

Inside her home, myself I steer

Her garments to me are very dear

Her shoes, her belts her scarfs too

Anything she had of which I knew

Is kept for her, protected like new

Her photos are planted on every wall

Coupled with poems that tells it all

Wherever I look, all that I see

Are memories of her saluting me.

Some are surprised, some may sneer

At what I do, or when my words they hear

Their opinions though are froth in beer

For I live my life, with a vision so clear

That in my heart, she is always here

Her body is gone; that I know

With earth it was covered; that I saw

Yet her spirit, I feel, is here to stay

The music of love, for her I’ll play

If my behaviour, does reality slay

Then that is a price, I am happy to pay

Patio

I wanted a patio where I can fast-walk

Inside our garden, where no one can gawk

You asked if I’d use it or is it just talk

I said from its use I will never balk

You proceeded to build one just for me

Two weeks later it was a marvel to see

Your talent in building did always show

No matter what’s needed, you always know

Ten years passed by and to heaven you went

To protecting your memory, my time, I spent

On the patio, marble plaques I did cement

Some were straight, others at an angle bent

On each of them a poem of mine I engraved

Describing how with love my life you paved

Around the patio there are lanes of lawn

Its grass glittering with dew at dawn

On these lanes marble frames, I did fit

Carrying photos of you which at night are lit

The patio you built is now designed to say

You are here with me; you are never away.

Remembrance Pole

Thirty-six years of loving each other

It started in Fall and ended in Winter

The dates are engraved on the pole of remember

When joy started it was the seventeenth of September

It was in London, to you my heart I did surrender

When sadness struck it was the third of March

The day you walked through heavens arch

Two years have passed since you’re gone

You are on my mind from dawn to dawn

There is no other and will never be

For in my heart only you I see

When I feel low and seek to refresh my soul

I go and stand at the remembrance pole

A symbol it is of the time we had

I wish I could more days to add

Every story in time I suppose must end

Through my poems to you my love I send

Hide

Its Sunday so in your car I hide

Imagining that you are by my side

Into our memories I smoothly glide

I remember how we drove around

I smell your perfume, I hear your sound

I see the places we used to see

I feel how happy we used to be

Together always just you and me

The engine runs idle, the car is still

It does what I want, it knows the drill

It helps me to hide, as my emotions spill

I dream of your presence, I seek that thrill

I know I am alone, but I refuse to be

For in your car I am from reality free

On Sundays I hide myself in your car

Imagining what we were is what we are

Many Roads

A song we listened to when we met

The path of our life it lovingly set

The singer sang about roads she travelled

Until finally on one love she settled

The song was dynamic and full of fun

On how she found her chosen “one”

An Egyptian artist that song did claim

Nadia Mustafa was the singer’s name.

We listened to the song for many years

It was exciting and pleased our ears.

Now your body is under gravel and stone

And I, in a depression, regularly thrown

I sit and listen to that song alone

To relive a happiness, I once had known

Together the song made us clap and cheer

Now when I hear it, I must wipe a tear

No roads for me on which to steer

The love of my life is no more here.

Things

I am happiest if near your photo I stand

Or at a memorial of yours, built by hand

I brighten my day with a poem I write

While an image of you is in my sight

To heaven you went one dark night

My world has forever dimmed its light

I am thrilled to touch something you held

Memories of its use, by you, are gelled

A brush you used, your hair to comb

Slippers you wore as at home you roam

A cup in which coffee you would drink

Pistachio its colour, with a handle that’s pink

Keys that you forget where you had left

An earing you wore that is part of a set

A jacket that in the garden you wore

A list you prepared to go to the store

A mat that the use on the shower’s floor

Glasses you used, on a table they rest

A hand mirror that knows you are the best

A sponge that you threw at me in jest

Dozens of small things for which, I care

That you had used, did touch, or wear

They live with me, my life they share

No one can touch them; none would dare

Things they may be, but yours they are

Nothing can match their value by far

Not even the jewels of a king or tzar

Room in the Sky

A room I built whose walls are high

No ceiling it has just the sky

One wall speaks as to who you are

The other replies that you are my star

I sit in a corner and at your photo gaze

Drunk with your memories and in a daze

I look up to the heavens, I see your face

My body then shivers, I feel your embrace

In that room in the sky, in its enclosed space

I see your beauty, your elegance, your grace

My mind races to cuddle your every trace

I close my eyes as our togetherness I chase

Memories of happiness dance in this place.

Visions of Yesterday

I sat in my balcony when the lights went on

I saw many photos of you, of times now gone

Sprinkled among trees and embraced by a lawn

Courted by poems from dawn to dawn

Each photo of them does a story tell

Of happy memories on which I dwell

Each photo resides in a large marble frame

One meter in height towards the sky they aim

The photos are different, but the frames are the same

Saadia’s Memorial Garden is its given name

Each photo opens for me a very large door

Through it my mind sees a very vast store

Stacked with shelves from ceiling to floor

Checking these shelves becomes my chore

I start to focus on every shelf I can see

Each holds a story about my life with thee

These doses of memories, to my soul, I give

They teach me how with my grief, to live

My time is frozen, its minutes are ignored

As I delve into where those memories are stored

Bubble

I dreamt you asked me how am I

In a poem, my darling, I will reply

A bubble around me I did create

So my sad emotions I can sedate

Its surfaces are bright and wide

Poems and photos on every side

Into this enclosure I daily glide

Feeling your presence at my side

Beautiful, elegant and full of pride.

Illusion they are, many will say,

Yet I hug them dearly every day.

Time I am told will heal for sure

Life In my bubble is my only cure.

Villa Surprise

I told her once about a Christmas tree

My father yearly did decorate for me

From that day on with love did she

Make me a tree to enjoy and see.

I told her once of a house on a cloud

No rooms no doors but space abound

She built me one, it made me proud

We lived in it away from the crowd.

When she left to the place in the sky,

A Memorial it became as my goodbye.

If you read the poems that are there

And on her photos, you carefully stare

You would see a lady unique and rare.

Two Pillars

Each other’s privacy

We always protected

Our possessions we

Separately documented

Stand-alone pillars

Yet always connected

Being always together

Is what we selected

We rarely behaved like

What traditions expected

The choices we made

Could not be predicted.

No biological offsprings

Did you and I have

Yet some did chose

To call us Mum and Dad

Teaching and love

From us they had.

Cyprus

Two months in Cyprus each year we spent

Hilton and Four Seasons we did frequent.

I had work there, you had your niece,

The fun we enjoyed did never cease.

From London we flew when time was due,

To London we returned just me and you.

Up in the clouds we talked and laughed,

The world by the collar we always grabbed.

Your presence beside me was all I wanted,

Minutes together I cherished and hunted.

Cyprus my darling was not special to me,

What was special was the presence of thee.

Fasting at Selfridges

One month in a year we did together fast

From sunrise to sunset did our hunger last

When time was due for our fast to break

At Selfridges in London our food we’d take

I meet you there at the store’s front door

Leaving my office to be there at four.

To the shop’s bakery we together walk

You hold my arm while we chat and talk

You choose the bread you wish to buy

Something different you’d always try.

To the fourth floor we then together go

Where their self-service food is on show

You move around, their food to see

Making choices for you and me

I find a table, isolated and free

By a big window near a pot with a tree

Your trays are now full; they are three

Its self-service for others but not for thee

A waiter would help you, sometimes two

Your trays in a trolly just like a cabin crew

Our table you set, I dispose of the trays

We begin to eat as the sun hides its rays.

Oh, how I long to relive our every day

But nothing is forever, was destiny’s say

Maroosh

In Edgware Road to a restaurant, we’d go

It had Lebanese food, live music and a show

Maroosh was the restaurant’s given name

Others imitated it but were not the same

A corner table we choose, away from the crowd

Protecting ourselves if the music becomes loud

Mezza, we order which is your favourite treat

Thirty-six small dishes of pastry, salads and meat

More dishes get added, the empty ones removed

The ones you do not like, from our table we boot

For drinks, I chose Arak, you prefer red wine

A light nearby makes your beautiful face shine

The evening starts with their resident band

A group follows that has a well-known brand

Young and dynamic, all very well-tanned

A belly dancer then follows, we’ve seen her before

She moves with precision, her feet firm on the floor

The singer that follows is someone you like

He sings love songs while holding his mike

He comes to our table, just for you to sing

Other diners clap, and some start to swing

Your beauty does add to his song a zing

To your face, his gesture, a laugh does bring

You always are the centre of my everything

The happy evening has ended, it is time to go

The taxi is waiting, our time he does know

Hand in hand we walk into the moon lit night

Two lovers that decided a joint destiny to write

Those who have not tasted how true love can be

Can never understand how much I miss thee

Geneva

In Geneva we had a thrilling time,

You spoke the language I did the mime.

Rue de Rohn was our chosen street,

My office was there where we daily meet.

The hotel we stayed overlooked the lake,

Restaurants we chose served chips and steak.

No day passed by that was not fun,

No matter if the day had rain or sun.

The days my lovely would come and go,

Deeper and deeper did my love grow

You were to me, and you will always be,

The one who taught me how beauty to see.

Lausanne

Lausanne is a city you’d wanted to go

To a restaurant on the lake, that we do know

Where near its tables the water does flow

They served Perch fish, which in butter they fry

We’d had it for lunch sitting under the sky

Sweets they then offered for us to try

Espresso was served, with cream standing by.

I know your actions are difficult to predict

You smile and laugh when that fact I admit

As we were relaxing on the chairs on which we sit

You suddenly decided to dip your feet in the lake

Your chair towards the water, I then did take

You slipped of your mules, your feet were bare

You turned up your trousers with delicacy and care

You then dipped your feet, with elegance and flair

The water is cold was the comment you made

But dipped in the water your feet remained

I instructed the waiter two towels to bring

You dried your feet so no water would cling

You asked me if I wanted to dip my feet too

Smiling for knowing it’s something I will not do

Whenever we confronted something new

The banner of trying, was carried by you

With love for adventure and courage for two

You safely danced with life, like a few can do

Eggs

We were travelling through Spain in summer by car

Our sea-crossing town of Algeciras was not very far

At a café, on the road, we stopped to eat and rest

Fried eggs, for your Mum, is what she would like best

The waiter not understanding, did your patience test

You decided what action you must wilfully take

The sound of a chicken you started to make

With your hands you showed how an egg to break

The waiter smiled and from his slumber did wake

It was clear your message, his brain now did take

Fried eggs to your Mum did he now bring

While in Spanish, some song, he started to sing

You never give up; you never give in

Not getting your way is an unacceptable sin

I’ve seen you fight your battles with zeal

Never to adversity did you surrender or kneel

Your gloves were velvet, but your hands were steel

The power of your will, everyone did feel

New York

To New York we regularly went

Time in the air on Virgin we spent

Sofitel is the hotel at which we stayed

From Manhattan we rarely ever strayed

Two connected rooms was our usual set

On luxury and comfort we always bet

Fifth Avenue is where we usually walked

Bryant Park is where we daily strolled

Our morning visit to Macy’s is a must

In Bloomingdale and Saks we also trust

Steak or fish was our lunch menu

Although Italian was an option too

Grand Central station was also a treat

If busy New Yorkers we wanted to meet

Room service at dinner was our choice

Always together, our life we rejoice

Time to say to New York goodbye

Back to London we happily fly

Life with Saadia was always fun

She will forever be the only one.

Marrakech

Four times to Marrakech

We go every year

I sit beside you

While the car you steer

One week we spend on every trip

Rarely allowing any minute to slip

Breakfast at the motorway is a must

At the only coffee shop that you trust

The Radisson is our hotel’s name

The rooms are ready; always the same

Lunch and dinner at our Italian bistro

Our table is booked six days in a row.

We go to the shops; we talk and joke

A simple life, for a lass and bloke.

It’s time to go, our clothes we pack

Suitcases ready, into the car they stack.

We travel back with the morning sun

A week of happiness, love and fun.

Chessington Zoo

Your niece we took to Chessington Zoo

It was a sunny day and the sky was blue

She would like it there; that we knew.

Two adults and a minor, the tickets we bought

An enjoyable day at its gardens we sought

Crisps and chocolate from the shop we bought

Your niece was excited, the animals to see

Caged they were, but their food was free.

To the monkey’s section she wanted to go

When we reached there, a gorilla we saw

Quietly sitting on a block of straw

You were then eating from a bag of crisps

He looked at you and protruded his lips

He then stood up and wiggled his hips

So that straw stuck to his body just slips

With hands stretched he pointed at you

You assumed he wanted some crisps too

He started to jump, and on his chest to beat

It seems the gorilla, on you, was sweet

You got closer to give him crisps as a treat

He looked at you from your head to your feet

Yet he did not care for any crisps to eat

As you began from his cage to retreat

He started to shriek and, on his chest, to beat

We decided to go so he can return to his seat

You waved him goodbye, as his cage we left

That “friend” of yours, whom you’ve just met

Excitement did follow you wherever you went

Never a dull moment, in your presence, I spent

Sittee Fatima

To the mountains we would together go

In a car with its driver told to drive slow

Roads that are narrow, valleys so deep

Rocks protruding, majestic and steep

The village we reach overlooking a stream

From high up we see its mesmerising gleam

We walk together towards the local Café

With wooden tables and glass-cups in a tray

This is the place where, for lunch, we stay

I take my seat; to the butchers you go

To choose the meat; carefully and slow

You know exactly what meat to choose

If the butcher argues, he will certainly lose

The meat is minced so it is easy to chew

Condiments are added and parsley too

The awaiting flames are yellow and blue.

You order the drinks and also the brew

The table is set, supervised by you

With fresh baked bread and salads too

The meat is cooking, while I go to the loo,

You smiled; my move is well known to you

The scene in now ready for our barbeque.

The charcoaled meat on our table is set

It’s clear to me that your satisfaction is met

Never would I start to eat before you do

Years upon years, you know that’s always true

You are, my dearest, the first in any queue

Your number is always one, it is never two

My life with you is so enjoyable and fun

Excitement and happiness from sun to sun

The sweets we eat are chocolates you brought

From a selection you know I always sought.

Our day at Sittee Fatima now comes to an end

We drive back home on narrow roads that bend.

Italian

An Italian Restaurant where we went to eat

At Marble Arch at the corner of a side street

For fifteen years for lunch, we went

Until its owner cancelled his rent

Your favourite dish that all waiters knew

Was sautéed calf liver with spaghetti too

Arrabiata was the spaghetti you’d pick

With shavings of cheese from a Parmesan brick

A basket of bread was on your table set

It included Ciabbata was a very sure bet

A mixed salad is what the Chef did send

Lettuce, cucumbers in vinegar and oil blend

With black olives sprinkled on the salad’s face

Its pips removed leaving no trace.

The drink they bring must with ice cubes glow

It must always have a protruding straw

Profiteroles were your selected sweet

Espresso with cream was your final treat

Life with you was a non-ending feast

Where excitement and love never ceased.

Yousra

An actress you liked, Yousra was her name

Egypt is the country, from where she came

She was well known, crowned with fame

All her films, you and I, did happily see

My pleasure doubled, by the presence of thee

In a store in London, where your make-up you’d buy

You came across her, eye to eye

She smiled at you, and you did too

She started to talk, as if she knew you

She asked, where you’re from, Morocco, you said

But in London you live, happily wed

She needed a lipstick, whose colour is rose

Like the colour, that, for your lips, you chose

She asked if you could help her find the one

Clearly your elegance, her attention, had won

You proceeded to do so, with diligence and care

Happy with her, your choice, to share.

Your style, by many, was used as a guide

A beauty, you are, with confidence and pride

Thirty-six years in happiness, I lived, by your side

You were my friend, my lover and adorable bride

Your end was sudden; you took it in your stride

No buried bones, could your story, ever hide.

Burka

In a restaurant we sat; lunch to eat

Our window overlooked, a London, side street

A car parked, from our window, we saw

The type of passengers, your attention did draw

Two men in front, two women in the rear

The women’s faces were covered from ear to ear

Only their eyes, you could see

‘Their faces imprisoned’, you said to me

The men left the car, and somewhere they went

The women, in the car, behind were left

You looked at them; they looked at you

You smiled at them, their eyes implied, they smiled too

You put your hand on your mouth and nose

You then brought it down, your face to expose.

The two young women then, did the same

Down from their faces, their covers came

They were young, with a very shy smile

Their make-up done, in a beautiful style

They kept their face-cover, off, for a while

You waved at them; they then waved back

A moment of courage, which they normally lack

Quickly the cover, to their faces, returned

Away from our window, their faces turned

The men came back; the car drove away

“Freedom”, you said, “has had its say”

Happy you were, with your deed, of the day

I looked at you, with admiration and pride

Delighted that I am spending my life by your side

The M&S Incident

At the M&S shop in Oxford Street

We had planned together to meet

On its three floors and many aisles

Shoppers buying clothes of different styles

As you walked in the lanes of the shop

You would occasionally at a section stop

Suddenly a young girl held your hand

She had blue eyes and hair the colour of sand

“Mummy” she said, “where have you been”

A four-year-old that you have never seen

You looked at her with your beautiful smile

Crouching near her in the shopping aisle

“I am not your mummy”, you gently proclaimed

Yet holding your hand, she just remained

A salesgirl you ushered, she was suitably trained

The matter to her, you carefully explained

The mother they found, she was emotionally drained.

Many such stories of incidents I can tell

Where children towards you move and dwell

It happened on aeroplanes and in restaurants too

They leave where they are sitting and come to you

A halo of love that around you does float

It’s a message from heaven, that angels have wrote

Anyone that meets you, its presence does note

Bangalow

We had a bungalow by the sea

From its terrace the sea we see

In the morning, at it we stare

As our breakfast we happily share

Croissant and coffee were our treat

Making us ready our day to meet

I then go for my six-mile walk

You go to see your Mum and folk

A close by house was our other stay

Lunch and dinner the cook would lay

From where we eat the sea we see

Enjoying the food, just you and me.

Happiness is easy when you are in love

Sharing your life like a hand in a glove

At town by the sea, our happiness came

A Darwish’s memorial is its claim to fame

Sidi Bu Zaid was the town and his name

Her Trees

Small trees she planted

In our garden one fall

With the hope they become

Both large and tall.

We watched them grow

From fall to fall.

Ten years passed by

Those trees she planted

Are now large and tall.

To the doors of heaven

She received her call

I wish those trees

Were still just small.

Saadia’s Birds

Something strange seems happening

Maybe it is true or am I just imagining

When a new memorial to your garden is done

Birds sit on your tree with the next rising sun

They congregate in one small space

Looking at each other face to face

They start to sing, chirp and tweet

Holding tight on the branch with their feet

I sit in the garden in my usual seat

Listening to them; it’s such a treat

I think I hear your name being said

I now see on your tree a golden thread

From branch to branch it seems to spread

This pumps my heart and spins my head

Ten minutes later the birds have fled

No more do I see that golden thread.

Rabbits

On a moonlit night on our balcony, we were

A moment of tranquillity we were there to share

The sky was clear, studded with stars

An infinite vastness, smooth with no scars

Suddenly two rabbits in the garden we saw

Jumping and playing, their furs like snow

We both kept silent, so they don’t scare

Their moment of happiness, we wanted to share

I held your hand, and you held mine

Your moonlit face, did glow and shine

Happiness is a concept not easy to define

Yet at that moment in time life felt divine

The rabbits decided our garden to leave

That they would return, we did not believe

Our life of happiness, we continued to weave

We planned for tomorrows, but destiny declined

To the garden of heaven, you were duly assigned

That your body has gone, to that I’m resigned

The happiness we had, in my memories I find

Maybe someday when our spirits will meet

Those rabbits will return, for us to greet

The Dog

A story you told me about when you were little

Of a neighbour whose dog, was clever and subtle

Ahmad Alreeh, was the neighbour’s name

His dog was large, and yet so tame

A basket, the dog, by his teeth would hold

“Go to the shop”, the dog was told

Money in the basket, was then thrown

Plus, a list of items, on a paper shown

Towards the shop, the dog goes alone

Walking on a road of gravel and stone

The money no one would dare to touch

The dog would, a strange hand, munch

The shop keeper would, the basket fill

Collect his money, to put into his till

With groceries and change, the dog returns

His treat from his master, he happily earns

Images of you are engraved in my mind

Stories you told me, in my memory, reside

That dog you remembered as being so clever,

Is one story of many, of your young life, I treasure

The car horn

A Saadia story, when you were twenty

Of a car you drove, when roads, still empty

Not many people, those days, had a car

And as a woman, you were unique by far

You fitted your car with a special horn

So other cars, you can skilfully warn

The horn, when pressed, did a melody, play

It was clear, what you wanted, that horn to say

Saadia is here, and here, she will stay

From early on, a fighter, you were

In all aspects of life, you demanded your share

The fact that women, those days, did not drive

You refused to keep that concept alive

Quietly you did, all that you wanted to do

Freedom was your cause; it was mine too

We met at a road, travelled by few

Beauty and talent, in you, I could see

No woman like you, can there ever be

We lived our life, just you and me

From chains of tradition, we, broke free

No one can tell us, what, with our life, to do

We explained to no one, or gave a clue

We embraced life together, just me and you.

In the gardens of heaven, you now reside

Your story, in poems, I will write with pride

Your body and bones, you left behind

But my spirit and yours, walk side by side

That horn in your car, now blows in my mind

Limassol

A restaurant in Limassol with a family brand

That was situated overlooking both sea and sand

It was sitting on a hilltop on a secluded land

We saw it by accident, nothing was planned

A mother and daughter did run the place

Life there seemed to flow at a very slow pace

We were impressed by the view of the sea

I chose a table which had chairs and settee

Into their kitchen you were invited to walk

Recipes with the mother you started to talk

She was fascinated by how much you knew

She did not expect that from a lady like you

Your beauty was stunning, your interest true

Such abundance of grace God gave to only few

Your smile does capture anyone you’d meet

You are always given the most prominent seat

I ordered a selection of most what she got

Both her cold dishes and the ones that are hot

She said that’s too much for we are only two

You knew I would do that, as I always do

We had our lunch, the mother offered us tea

We said goodbye to the hill overlooking the sea.

Saadia’s Numbers

Memories of stories you once told

Its details in this poem I’ll unfold

It was about when you were at school

You were attentive, focused and cool

In numbers you were the class master

In answers no student was ever faster

Your Mum’s shop-dealings in you she entrusted

For your Dad’s his overtime you added or deducted

No number can hide from your probing eyes

No one can trick you, no one even tries

Numbers my darling danced to your tune

You captured them like soup in a spoon

No paper or pen did you want or need

Your memory alone completed any deed

Thirty six is the number dearest to me

It’s the years I spent together with thee

Money

Online banking was not your thing

Paper statements you’d regularly bring

Line by line you would carefully look

Comparing to stubs of your cheque book

Your calculator, ready, by your side

In case some numbers need to be pried

You did remember every price,

Be it for a car or a bag of rice.

To sellers you were polite and nice

Unless, by cheating, your anger, they entice.

Fancy investments you do not make

Investments in houses you’d partake

In shared ownership, you took no stake

Partners in business, was a big mistake

Money and friendship, never did mix

Errors, if any, you would quickly fix

Words are something, for the gullible to hear

Bricks and mortar can make you cheer.

You were generous and kind to the core

If cheated though, like a lion, you’d roar

In money matters, you knew the score

Every penny spent, you knew, what for

The value of money, you well, understood

In solving problems, as a tool, it was good

Happiness, you knew, it could never buy

But reality it can mask, and it can hide a lie.

You passed away, leaving treasures behind

To benefit of those, to your blood, were tied

Why?

There is a question that I want to ask

Hoping, the answer, a secret, can unmask

Until I was three, I remember a nanny I had

Her name was Saadia; when she left; I was sad

Thirty-three years later, I met my wife

Saadia was her name, the love of my life

Thirty-six years of happiness, we together, enjoyed

On a third of March, that happiness was destroyed

A re-call from heaven, that she could not avoid.

Was the number three, an omen of sadness

Or was it a message of love and gladness

Is it the bad that I should consider

Or is it the good that it did deliver

The thirty-six years of happiness we both did see

The first digit of that number, happens to be a three

The second digit decided, its double, to be.

The day and the month, she passed away

The number three, did jump, once again, into the fray

It maybe all a coincidence; that is certainly true

But my adorable wife, believed in omens, too

I must admit, I am confused, and do not have a clue

I will no more chase that “three”, whatever else I do.

Our Song

We sang a song of joy and hope

We climbed together every slope

Everything was within our scope

Never did we say we will not cope.

Tomorrow will follow each today

Forever young we decided to stay.

Destiny laughed and had its say

March the third was her final day

Even in a grave as she silently lay,

You hear her sing “I did it my way”

Land of Dreams

Children to her presence gyrate,

Love and affection she does vibrate.

Grownups try to seek her attention,

Only a few can make that connection.

The needy she does try to support,

But only based on terms she thought.

In her good books if you aim to stay,

Do not from her set lanes stray.

If she perceives that you are a foe,

Forgiveness she will rarely show.

My sweetheart is from a land of dreams,

Where right and wrong are clearcut themes.

I know

I know what you want

I will do that for you

Everything you desire

I will always do that too.

You may not say in words now

Actions I know you seek,

Our lifetime of love together

Makes me hear

What you do not speak.

You are me and I am you

That, my darling, is always true

I know what I must do now

I will do it in memory of you.

Let me be

Hoping to cause my grief to flee

Science wanted to console me

On the death of my beloved she

His statements were only three

Atoms from her every breath

Photons from her every smile

Waves from her every sound

These, he said, are still around.

I looked Science in the eye

So he could my feelings see

And said to my trusted friend

Don’t ask me how but so is she

Now walk away and let me be

The feeling that she is around

Is like a shroud covering me

Happy Days

A home at Hyde Park is where we lived

Our shopping at Queensway we daily did.

At Oxford Street our happy day begun

Selfridges by taxi was a very short run.

The Royal China is where we daily eat

Dim Sum at lunch both salty and sweet.

Our afternoons are at Westfield mall,

Leisurely visiting each shop and stall.

Laughing, joking and mimicking in jest

Always together and away from the rest.

Puzzled she chooses one of two vests,

I add to the basket the one she had left.

A jacket she found that was a bit tight,

We actively pursue the one that is right.

The time was ripe to return to our home

But not before a stop at Whitely’s dome.

A choice needs to be made on our supper

Which takeaway today this or the other

Porchester Spa

A Turkish bath and a sauna too

Twice a week that ritual you do

The ritual then needs to complete

At a hairdresser’s welcoming seat

Is it Marcia today, or is it John

Your hair, either, will focus on

Until you say: yes it is done.

You are now ready for us to meet

For a Dim Sum lunch, salty and sweet

With hugs and kisses we each other greet

My heart sings joy with its every beat

Hand in hand we walk the street.

Doctors

If ill, Doctors must bow to your will

You always doubt, their ability and skill

Medicines, they give, be it a syrup or pill

Few days and your intake, will go back to nil

Only a few Doctors, you were willing to trust

But even with them, doubts were a must

When their advice, you do not wish to hear

From their clinics, you will, just stay clear.

Corona struck, we had, our movement, to still

A permit you secured, enabled you to move at will

You put your mask, and, in your car, you went

Battling the virus that, from China, was sent.

Four big surgeries you had during your life

Two of them while you were my beloved wife.

At seventy-three your heart suddenly stopped

Arteries that feed it, somehow, got clogged

Your body you left, with undamaged pride

With Doctors and nurses, helpless, by your side

Sorry

I happily said to her that I am sorry,

Even if I was not the cause of her worry.

I told her always that she is never wrong,

I repeated that to her like a lovely song.

In any game of cards I’d let her win,

To let her loose would be a sin

In a bet we make, and I happen to win

I refuse to collect and just enjoy her grin

If my self-control did temporarily flee,

One smile from her, swiftly calms me.

A problem of hers together we solved,

Even if it was better not be involved.

A dish she disliked, I would not eat

A person she avoids I refuse to meet.

We joked and laughed just she and me,

The world around us we chose not to see.

She has gone now to that palace in the sky

I will never forget her, I refuse even to try

Her bones are buried but not her soul

She walks by my side to make me whole

I am sorry in body she is no longer with me

But wherever I look, her lovely face, I do see.

Two years have passed on that dreaded day

When fate decided my sweetheart to slay

My dearest I’m sorry, what else can I say

Your heart just stopped pumping away

In a hospital you were, with attention and care

Yet fate decided that no tomorrows we’ll share

London October 2023

London asked me if you are returning to join me after a while

When I sadly replied no its streets became troubled and hostile

Selfridges and Harrods turned dark in the absence of your smile

Westfield Mall appeared puzzled seeing me alone in its aisle

Royal China draped our usual table with a black cloth for a while

We miss her too, yelled London, for she had beauty and style

London, my adorable Saadia, is in love with you in her every mile.

Lunch at Mazagan

Lunch at George was our usual meet,

Buda Bar was our summer treat,

Always together our lunch we eat.

Your chosen dish must always be there,

No Cook can claim he is not aware.

You’re always polite and always fair,

Happiness around you filled the air.

Now that you are in heaven’s care,

Lunch with angels is what you share.

Master Cook

A toy kitchen was from her father a gift,

Utensils, an oven and a spoon with tilt.

With zeal she played and was nimble and swift.

She grew up to become a very talented cook,

Tasty dishes she never copied from any book.

Those restaurants at which we regularly ate,

Their cooks did ask for her opinion straight.

A dish she liked with words she will say so,

If she did not, a silent smile will let them know.

No matter the country their dish was from,

A similar dish from her kitchen would come.

This talent she had did from intuition grow,

Like her many talents that I adorably saw.

She mastered any task she decided to do,

Such blessing is given by God to very few.

Now that my lovely to the heavens belong,

Her memory lives through poems and song.

Hyde Park

Picnic at Hyde Park was the plan

Her kitchen preparation then began.

I argued for takeaway sandwiches instead

She looked at me and her face was red

Nothing further on the subject was said.

Meatballs in French bread was her first dish

Accompanied by sliced loaf with tuna fish.

Each sandwich was artistically made

With lattice and cucumbers perfectly laid.

A side dish of coleslaw she also prepared

Fluffed in mayonnaise and with basil sprayed.

I was invited to taste her sugary drink,

It was a lemonade coloured in pink.

Her jeans she wore with matching shoes

My wrong choice of blanket had no excuse.

On the grass we settled in a secluded place,

Until some kids decided near us to race.

We laughed and joked as we drank and ate

Like two people in love on their first date.

My Beloved She

In numbers and faces she has no match

Your fast throw she will always catch.

Don’t try to fiddle when she is involved,

Her anger will bubble your plan will not hold.

Any trick you master, through it she’ll see

Nothing can prevent her from being free

No one does own her, not even me.

Devotion to truth is her trusted key,

Pride and liberty are what makes her ‘she’

Love and trust are what she had for me.

Open Gates

When with you we are rarely stopped

If I am alone, I am regularly blocked

One look at you and the gates just open

All eyes are at you focused and frozen

Guards mesmerised, no word is spoken

A smile from you, all barriers are broken

You then walk through, I quietly follow

What was a barrier turns into a hollow.

Your passing away was shockingly sudden

No stops for you at the gates of heaven

I now, my lovely, stand at gates alone

My right for passage has been withdrawn

Guards just starring, their faces like stone.

Forever Smitten

Close your eyes and just imagine

A beauty full of love and passion

Dressed in style and subtle fashion

She smiles at you in a way unseen

You suddenly halt like a dud machine

On yesterdays you are no more keen

Nor on places you have before been.

You used to think you knew the score

But who you were you are no more.

You wait for what will happen next

There is no guide, message or text.

Luck smiled, your destiny was written

With her love you are forever smitten.

Thirty six years of happiness and bliss

Every second of which you dearly miss.

Super Saadia

It is the case, and always true

Usual rules do not apply to you.

People who link to thee can see

Someone special, clever and free.

They will accept for you to do

What no other is allowed like you.

When by a rule you did not abide

You did so with finesse, skill and pride.

Don’t ask me how or even when,

But she and I will break rules again.

Her body has gone but she is here,

Teaching me how no rule to fear.

The Child

Childhood memories

With me you shared

A five-year-old girl

Inquisitive and daring

The cow that you milked

The camel that you poked

The birds you caressed

The flute that you made

The bread that you baked

The fruits you collected

The trees you climbed

A daring child you were

With memories so rare.

Siblings

At a very young age

Orphans they were,

You held them close

And gave them care.

You battled on without despair

You did it all with gusto and flair.

A Sister you were like no other,

Taking the role of Father and Mother.

To me you are, and will always be

The one that changed my ‘I’ to ‘we’.

Surbiton

To Surbiton we went my parents to see

They happily met us with joy and glee

They treasured their lovely daughter to be

Mesmerised like all by the beauty they see

That gorgeous Saadia always lively and free.

A restaurant on the river we have our lunch

Laughing and joking like any friendly bunch

My Father talks about the ducks he feed

My Mum describes a jacket from tweed

They love how you listen to their chatter

As if what they say does really matter

Each visit to Surbiton invited another

Autumn, winter, spring and summer.

These days are gone and yours are too

Restoring them with a poem is all I can do.

The Garden

I saw a flickering light in the sky,

Could that be my sweetheart winking at me?

I felt a breezy movement in the air,

Could that be my sweetheart waving at me?

I heard a sound of rustling leaves,

Could that be my sweetheart whispering to me?

There is a smile in the heavens

My sweetheart is always alive in me.

The Puzzle

Nobody knows

What Saadia will do

Don’t try to guess

You’ll have no clue.

Don’t even ask

Her words are few.

Just sit and watch

Her actions sparkle

As they majestically flew.

Her every move

Is sudden and new

To her yesterdays

She will never glue

Yet to justice she is

Forever true

Giving to all

Whatever is due.

No cage can hold her

She never bends the knee

Always intuitive

Always free

A lovely puzzle

Adorable was she

Her only constant

Was her love for me.

The Court Case

You felt that your Mum was slighted

You proceeded to court to fight it.

No judge can stand in your way,

You’ve decided to win come what may.

It was true that right was on your side,

But in court sometimes the truth can hide.

You fought against the inheritance thief,

You won your case to your Mum’s relief.

It was not the money that you were after,

It was to get your Mum her rightful answer.

No doubt remains from then and thereafter

You are and will always be the legal master.

The Play

You passed away, your pride intact

All life must end, this is a fact.

I hoped together we always stay,

From each other we would not stray

But in the end fate had its say.

Two actors in love in a happy Play,

One still remains, one passed away

The void that’s left lives night and day

It cannot be filled come what may.

On your memories I, constantly dwell

Thinking of tomorrow ,is a very hard sell.

Life must go on, is the common say

It is, I’m told, the Shakespearean way

For we are but actors on stage in a Play.

You are my love and you will always be

No one but you will share a stage with me.

Saadia’s Glittering Garden

From far away her garden does glitter

Whether it is spring, summer or winter.

It shines to say here resides the queen

A beauty like hers was rarely ever seen

A mind that sparkles, on results so keen

A spirit so generous and never mean

Stare and focus at that shiny scene

You will understand what I do mean.

The heavens did open; her body gone

Yet her memory lingers on and on

Goodbye is what I refuse to say

I’ll behave as if she is here to stay

It may appear that I have lost my way

But to me things are as clear as day

She is not made from bones or from clay

But from a soul that you cannot ever slay

Her spirit is with me, it’s never away

From that strong belief I’ll never stray.

The Sky

When I looked to the sky

Her lovely face I did see,

With her adorable smile

She gazed lovingly at me.

An illusion you may say

Logically that may be

Yet when I looked again

She did wink at me.

My spirit started to dance

From rationality I am free

Her lovely face in the sky

I am blessed to always see.

Saadia’s Wings

You flew so high

No springs or strings

Your Mum and I

Were your only wings.

To heaven you flew

And so, did she

A broken wing

Is what is left of me.

A glass-room I created

In our garden situated

Sun rays it brings

While the wind sings

The seashore is near

Its sound is clear

This I did with joy and pride

To feel your presence

Close by my side.

I sit in that glass-room

With heartbeats that sing

Basking in the pleasure

That your memories bring

Your Mum’s Room

Overlooking your garden a room I built

Aluminium and glass, with marble filled

It was for you and your Mum to share

To sit together and at your garden stare

Sunshine does hit it from every side

Its glass walls open as they slide

Artificial grass, on its floor is laid

With precision, it’s fitting was made

Two marble benches in the room were fit

Between their seat and back is a slit

One bench has a photo of you and she

At a park in London sitting under a tree

The other has a photo of you and me

Standing side by side, happy as can be

During the day the sun keeps it bright

At night it is flooded with artificial light

To your Mum, I dedicated this sunlit room

Where your love for her, can forever bloom

Together in heaven, you both reside

A mother and daughter, side by side

A friendship that started on earth before

Continues in heaven, forever more.

Tokyo

You went happily to Tokyo with me

A factory I built I wanted you to see.

No matter where in Japan you went

Your beauty did stun anyone we met.

To Beppu we travelled in mountains afar

You were treated there like a movie star.

Wherever we went you were elegantly dressed

In character and tone you were always the best.

Our trip to Tokyo no one will ever forget,

You sparkled and shone like a sun in a net.

The time did come for you ‘Tokyo’ to leave,

All that remains is sorrow, sadness and grieve.

Travel Shopping

Her choice of clothes was elegant and classic,

Whatever she wore the impact was dramatic.

Four garments she liked, one I was to choose

I selected the one that was fluffy and loose.

As she moved on to other choices to make,

I added the three she liked but didn’t take.

She looks at the basket and sees what I did,

She smiles at me as if I was a naughty kid.

To the shoe department we now proceed

In finding a suitable pair we do succeed.

Style is important but comfort is a must

The pair we find in its comfort we trust.

Three of the same I insist that we buy

She reluctantly agrees with a hesitant sigh.

To our hotel we return for rest and tea

Packages in hand from our shopping spree.

An additional suitcase now needs to be

I think may be two; tomorrow we will see.

Saadia’s Horses

On a road which you regularly take

Horses cross for their morning break

They move ignoring all cars but yours

But once you are seen the horses pause

Their jockeys on their stirrups stand

Each jokey smiles and waves his hand

They are happy to see your smiling face

They feel like winners of an important race

Your stunning beauty makes them feel

Ready to face their chores with zeal

I felt the same with your every kiss

Life in your presence was such a bliss

I believe so strongly in my every strand

That God on your face did wipe his hand.

Hello Chocolate

You told me stories about your youth

Of comments made that were uncouth

As summer arrived and you were sun-tanned

Hello chocolate was the comment men had

When winter came and your tan went

Hello biscuit was the comment they sent

Your beauty my dearest does mesmerise

Hence such compliments will be no surprise

Thirty six happy years we were together

As my wife, my friend, and always my lover

Your beauty throughout was like no other

The years passed by but it did not matter

Your loveliness shined no matter the colour

A beauty so stunning in winter and summer

Saadia’s Dress

The world without you is no more the same

I needed something or someone to blame

A diversion maybe for my pain to tame.

You’re gone now into that big sleep

I must try hard my sanity to keep

Or else I’ll fall in a depression so deep.

A poem I remembered that I wrote for you

About a dress that was green and blue

You elegantly wore the first time we met

A lifetime of love that meeting did set

The words of the poem that you heard

Made your tears flow, and your vision blurred

You looked at me and lovingly said

I liked my darling what you just read

This story did put in my head

That poetry will be my needed Med.

Poems I’ll write for your memory’s sake

Of stories we did, together make

So that my heart, that does so ache

Feels you’re alive, and fully awake.

I travel a road of memories with you

Full of poems and photos too

Without this road that I daily take

I know very well my spirit will break.

Let my poems set me free

In them you are always with me.

Visions

On every branch of every tree

On every wave travelling the sea

At every table and on every settee

I see your face smiling at me

Wherever I look there it will be

Gazing at me with joy and glee

These visions I have hold a magic key

They open my soul and make me free

To talk to you and you to talk to me

We laugh and joke like it used to be

Reality cannot keep me from thee

And if it tries from its chains I’ll flee.

Markers of my day

If my day with Saadia I was to define

This is how, in phases, I’ll mark mine

Our morning kiss

Making my day a bliss

Our lunch-time hug

Which is my “in-love” drug

Our evening cuddle

As we happily, on a sofa, huddle

Our night embrace

Excited for a tomorrow, jointly to face.

Now that my love has passed away

Empty days are here to stay

No more markers for me to make

To this reality I do daily wake

My lovely days, one day, did end

When it happened, there was no mend

I lost forever, my lover, my friend

The will of destiny, no one can bend

My love for her, to heaven, I send.

Caring Angel

For a fissure in my body, after an operation to heal

Ten daily bandages you had to dress and peal

Six months of attention you lovingly gave

From suffering, you did, my body save.

A car accident, your niece, had suffered

Her spinal cord, regrettably, got severed

Two years of daily attention you did give

To help her back to an acceptable life to live.

Many stories of your love and care I can tell

Of how you nurtured others, to make them well

You did it all with strength and style

Always walking that extra mile

Like an eagle that flies far and high

Yet comes home when its chicks do cry

A caring angel you have always been

With strength and endurance, rarely seen

Making others, for your help, so keen

In their support, you would always battle

Yet you do that, with finesse, so subtle

Once you decide responsibility to take

Nothing can cause your will to shake

Among the angels you are now in heaven

If they were six, they are now seven.

The Jewel

There was a jewel that was so rare

That is now in heaven, in God’s care

By keeping her memory always alive

Allows my spirit to flourish and thrive

Traditions of sorrow I will not heed

Saadia is with me in word and deed

Memorials for her I will always build

I see her smile in every one that I did

There is no reason ambition or cause

That will make me stop or even pause

Roof Top

Today, close to the sky,

A memorial was raised.

It has your beautiful face

In marble engraved, and

With stars, embraced.

Located at the roof top,

Where we together sat

To share a joke, a laugh,

Or just a happy chat.

Memorials, for you,

I’ll always build,

Walls and gardens,

With them, are filled.

Death, my dearest,

Took your body away,

But, in my heart,

You live, night and day.

Book of Poetry

A book of poetry, I wrote for you

Every page has your photo too

The poems were written for you alone

My love for you, in them, is shown.

Your name, if clicked, on Amazon

From cyber space, your book is flown

Those poems that on its pages sit

On marble plaques, were also fit

On walls, and in gardens they are placed

Artistically arranged, suitably spaced.

An obsession, many would critically say

On a rational path, I am advised, to stay.

Science and logic are dear to me

In their company, I seek to be

Yet in matters that relate to thee

My emotions take over, roaming free.

If that is obsession, then, that suits me

In its clutches, I am happy to be.

Many of you

In the garden I sat with many photos of you

Elegant, beautiful, and mesmerising too

With each, a conversation, I joyfully had

If someone did see me, they’d think I am mad.

There is no doubt you were “many” to see

Each character being as lovely as can be

When talking to one, the others will flee

Part of the “many”, must always be free.

You lived your life with confidence and pride

Your inner thoughts, you did always hide

Impossible to decipher, though several have tried.

Of the “many” of you, that I had the privilege to see

Every one of which, was kind and loving to me.

To know precisely, which of the “many”, you are

Is like thinking you’d capture an electron in a jar

Like the electron, that from restrictions, will slide

No one can predict, what’s next on your mind.

Theories and Plans

When a theory from someone, you hear

A sarcastic smile, on your face, will appear

Only with reality, are you willing to deal

Things that you can see, touch and feel

Dreams and dreamers you wilfully ignore

Only achievers, in your presence, can roar

They must be players, who like you, can score.

A plan is nothing, until results you can see

Wait for “tomorrow”, is an unacceptable plea.

Many can promise, and with words do play

A simple motto, from which you did not stray

“Deliver first, then let your words so say”.

The memorials I built, I did it, your way

My love for you, in deeds, I did convey.

Thirty months have gone, since you passed away

My pain is as immense, as it was that fateful day.

The Eagle

Under your Mum’s watchful eye

You grew up to be an eagle in the sky

A whale, swimming the oceans, you’d be

A lion walking the land, roaming free

At fifteen, into battle you were thrown

To protect what you rightly did own

In the dark corners of those days

Your battles you fought, with inner blaze

Problems were knocking at your door

With courage, you confronted every chore

Too young for battle, many did think

Yet this battleship, no water could sink

This girl grew up, like an eagle she’d fly

On earth she’d land as she roved the sky

A winner she was, in every venture she’d try

That she did, with elegance, and a head held high

Like all eagles do, when it was her time to die

Swiftly she went, without sound or cry.

In heaven she is, by her mother’s side

Her legacy I’ll protect, with honour and pride

What Saadia achieved, no grave, can hide.

Vienna

On a birthday of yours, we, to Vienna went

At luxurious hotel, our nights we spent

Six days in total, our trip did take

Including the day, you blew candles on your cake

It was December, so the weather was cold

Let’s buy you a coat, I said, that has the colour of gold

Many coats I have, you joyfully said

Black, green, brown, even one which is red

I argued my case and won by a thread.

We went to the shops for a coat to find

I had an image of a coat in my mind

The third shop we went, the imagined coat, I found

Golden in colour, with inside fur that is nicely browned

You smiled at my choice, and agreed the buy

After you had given it, in front of a mirror, a very thorough try.

That coat you then wore, on a suit that was blue

Mesmerizing as ever, from head to shoe.

To a restaurant we went, to celebrate together

Feeling that we will live, like this, forever.

Years passed by, and to heaven you went

Your coats still carry your intoxicating scent.

Like all your clothes that I treasure and keep

In your many cupboards, they hang and sleep

Those garments that you have elegantly worn

They, like me, your absence, morn

Breakfast Buffet in Marbella

To Marbella in Spain, we regularly went

At Melia Don Pepe, many nights we spent.

A buffet for breakfast is a favourite treat

You roam around to select what you eat.

Far from the crowd we choose our seat

The table we choose must be clean and neat

A waiter we know, comes to us to greet

Two more show up, whom we previously did meet

Coffee, they bring, with your special cream

To those seated around us, a VIP, you seem

Jealousy from you, do their faces scream

A woman so grand, a product of a dream.

You walk to the buffet, your food to choose

Elegantly dressed and wearing leather mules.

A waiter behind you, carrying two empty plates

As you walk around, he patiently waits.

You put in each plate a selection for two

You know what I like; you always do

I love to be pampered that way by you.

Your tasteful style and mesmerising smile

No other comes close, not even by a mile.

With that smile of yours, you make any place glow

Anyone who met you, that fact, does know.

Life is exciting, when you are around

A music of happiness drowns every other sound.

That music is silent, now that to heaven you’ve gone

Memories of yesterday, my mind, does daily spawn.

Airport

From Heathrow we were planning to fly

From the duty-free shop, make-up you’d buy

A sales lady came, with some advice

Offering a brand, at a cheaper price

You said your fine, and know what you want

She was insistent, her knowledge to flaunt

You thanked her again and tried to be nice

But she offered her item, not once, but twice

You looked at her, with a piercing look

The item in your hand, you suddenly shook

“This is the brand that I want”, you said

She moved away and quickly fled.

In makeup knowledge, you have no match

You know what suits you, both brand and batch

The item was added to the rest that you chose,

Quickly we moved, before the gates do close.

Into comfortable seats, our bodies did sink.

The hostess came, with a complimentary drink

Your jacket she took, to hang for you,

I kept mine on, as I usually do.

Its time to check the inflight magazine,

Though only last week, its contents you’ve seen

Something new, its pages may offer

It is better to check, rather than worry or suffer.

We are ready for take-off, our belts are tight

I am seated on your left and you on my right

I by the aisle; you by the window with the sky in sight.

Mealtime has arrived, three choices we are given

You chose the steak; I opted for the chicken.

The hostess smiled and gave us also the fish

I think your beauty earned us that extra dish.

Sweets and coffee followed, our tables were fold

The tax free trolly came, but what you wanted, was sold

I bought you a bracelet, which was silver and gold.

More trips we planned, to each other, we told

More joy we’ll seek, as our plans unfold.

Tomorrows will be there, or so we assumed

Yet, our time together, was quickly consumed.

More time we requested, but destiny refused

On a flight to heaven, you silently cruised.

Sleep

In the bedroom, where I go to sleep

Your photos, on three walls, I do keep

Suitably spaced and hanging on every wall

Each photo does, a different memory, recall.

The fourth wall is glass, from side to side

Overlooking a garden, where more photos reside.

Surrounded by you, in every direction I look

Those walls behave like a pictorial book

A sense of your presence, on me does creep

In a feeling of happiness, I drown, so deep

I clutch to that feeling, scared it may seep

I quickly close my eyes and hope to sleep

Into a void of darkness, my senses, do leap.

Dreams then follow, they are all about you

You look so real, you sound so true.

The clock sweeps forward, as more hours it picks

As its minutes and seconds dance to its ticks.

Sun rays emerge, the darkness they slay

Birds chirp, announcing the start of a new day.

The void disappears, at reality I stare

Those dreams I had, are no more there.

I look around and your photos I see

But the room is empty except for me.

My memory dashes towards our morning kiss,

When I touched your cheeks with my craving lips

Oh, how much my darling, those days I miss

When life was exciting, and every minute was bliss.

Malaga

To a family shop in Malaga, we’d regularly go

It’s different from shops that we usually saw

It had two large displays at its entrance door

Glass windows and shelves with mirrors galore

The owner and his two sons did run the store.

The shelves are stacked with sandals and shoes

One from each pair, no wasted space to lose

Each is labelled with a number to chose

Since Spanish language, we did not speak

We write on paper the number and size you seek

The owner would smile and at your elegant feet look

With his head, the sign, of yes, he shook.

Inside the shop, the space is too small

You’d sit on a seat while to his son he’d call

Telling him to bring the shoe from the storage hall.

While you’re not looking, three others, I pick

He smiles at me and understands my trick.

Your shoe arrives, and three more came too

You smile and say you’ll take a maximum of two.

All four looked elegant on your beautiful feet

I suggested that we buy all four as my treat

One of them is a sandal, which looked so neat

We left the shop with that sandal on your feet.

We drove back to Marbella, to our Don Pepe Hotel

So that your new shoes in our room can dwell.

To El Courte Anglaise, for lunch, we go

Their buffet is one of the best we know.

So, to Puerto Banus we drove our Car

The drive from Marbella is not too far.

After lunch we walked on the sandy beach

Not allowing the water your sandals to reach.

Those memories of you, like a wave they arrive

They bubble and dance, in my mind they thrive

Each story about you that, in a poem, I tell

Helps for a while, my pain, to quell.

I write these poems to talk to you

I hope you hear me; I feel that you do.

My life with you was such a thrill

Until destiny decided your heart to still

That warmth I felt has turned to chill

With memories, my emptiness, I try to fill.

That sandal of yours sits with many I keep

On wooden shelves they neatly sleep.

The Laundrette

To a laundrette in Marrakech, your trousers we took

A receipt they gave us, from a well-thumbed book

The woman said that they will do a thorough clean

The blot on your trousers will no more be seen

The trousers were white, the blot, a faded red

An accident happened which to that blot it led

You liked those trousers that from Harrods you bought

A pistachio-coloured shirt to accompany it you sought

White leather mules you’d wear on your elegant feet

The hem of those trousers did those mules meet

The scarf you wore was pink and white

It took us some time to find one that was right.

The earrings I bought you, with your attire did fit

On the lobes of your ears did they elegantly sit.

Waves of worry hit me at very high speed

That the removal of the blot, might not succeed

These pessimistic thoughts are not what I need

Their negative impact I refused to heed

Not seeing you sad would fulfil my creed.

Back at the laundrette the work was done

Pessimism had lost and optimism had won

The dreaded blot, from your trousers, had gone.

From incidents like this, I aim to protect you

A garment you like, instead of one, I buy you two

Sometimes you agree, and sometimes you do not

And if you don’t, I remind you of the dreaded blot.

Terrace

One villa you bought us had walls of glass

Overlooking the garden and a large terrace

At the end of the terrace is our swimming pool

The terrace was windy, so it was always cool

On part of the terrace a glass hall you built

With aluminium frames, the glass panels you fit

The design, as always, was completely yours

Workers you employed in threes and fours

Four you used to prepare the units off site

And three workers installed the glass-hall on site

One day it took, the onsite work, to complete

With a smile you asked me, our new hall to greet.

The furniture you said, will be here next day

It is arriving by truck; it’s already on its way.

A small example that allows me to show

How her talent in construction, did sparkle and glow

Fifteen villas and flats, for us, she built or bought

Casa, Jadida and Sidi, are places she sought

Her real estate talents, to them, she brought

She did it all with diligence and thought.

With many talents, my sweetheart, was blessed

Dynamic, creative, succeeding in every test

She was the maestro of our every event.

This lady with brains, that had zest and gall

With her style and beauty, she did enthral

Departed with pride, when destiny did call.

I do and write to keep her achievements alive,

A talent like hers, must, in memories thrive.

Those who knew her, and her talents did see,

Will understand how important is Saadia to me

She was winner, in everything she decided to be

A force of life, caring, loving and always free.

In Saadia’s garden, if you happen to be

Memorials celebrating her talents you’ll see.

Black Bird

A cube memorial in your garden was done

Marble plaques it emits, like rays of the sun

Your name in English beneath a marble crown

An engraved image of you on its front side is shown

On two other sides of the cube, poems are written

Describing in Arabic how, by you, I am, forever smitten

Adjacent to the cube resides a marble bench

“I’ll never forget” in Arabic on its back is sketched.

On a cloudy morning that was dim and grey

A black bird came, at the memorial, it decided to stay

He sat himself near your English engraved name

As if to read it, was the reason, to your garden he came

From my rocking chair, where I, every morning sit

As I watched this bird, my imagination was lit.

I did not know if the bird, words in Arabic, can read

Or was reading your name in English his intended deed.

Maybe your image and your name, for him, is enough

To grasp, how without you, my life is lonely and tough.

Five minutes passed by; the bird then flew away,

I, while alive, unlike him, will near your memorial stay.

Badedas

Badedas is your favourite shower gel

It has that chestnut invigorating smell

In Tokyo, that product, we could not locate

A shop promised, they asked us a day to wait

They found one bottle in an excellent state

We took the bottle and in Ginza we walked

Happy that the problem was now resolved.

Simple memories like this, should never leave

It shows how, our life together, we did weave

When you love someone, small things matter

They are the essence, that makes life better

The thirty-six years we spent with each other

Were made of minutes; all of them I treasure.

Our sharing of minutes on earth is complete

You went to heaven to take your seat

Old minutes, we shared, I daily dredge

To always remember you, that I pledge.

Memorials I build and poems I write

They keep you constantly in my sight

Smiles and tears, they, inside me fight

When it comes to memories, both are right.

Cricket Hunting

In our garden, on occasions, at night

A cricket decides our tranquillity to blight

It rubs its wings to make that annoying sound

When it realises that no one is around.

It hides itself, so it is difficult to see

If you get close, silence there will be.

My sweetheart and I, acting like a team

Hunt that insect, so we can sleep and dream.

My Saadia with a walk and stop move

Locates that cricket’s hiding grove

With her flashlight she shines at the located space

I follow to where the light left its trace

With an insecticide, I spray, that insect’s face

Our team has won, and our tranquillity is saved

Towards an enjoyable sleep, our path is paved.

Two lovers at night, that went on a cricket hunt

How many can claim they have shared such a stunt.

When a cricket today, it’s trumpet blow,

Tears in my eyes, commence to flow

My teammate has gone to a heavenly place

There is no one to guide me, no light to trace.

Channel

Your scent is always intoxicating and unique

It lingers on thus adding to your mystic

Cocco Channel is your perfume of choice

It announces your presence, without any voice.

Your beauty coupled with your subtle scent

Makes you the desired star of any event.

Heads do turn, as you walk into a place

You move, head high, with elegance and grace.

The lady-like style of clothes that you wear,

Makes those around you, continuously stare

When you talk your voice is soft and kind

Always alert, with an inquisitive mind.

You know what you want, you always do

Your thoughts are hidden; you give no clue.

Doubt is your companion, wherever you go,

Your smile is mesmerising; your face does glow.

Your tempo is fast, like the wind, you blow

You never stop or even agree to go slow.

For any occasion you are suitably dressed

No matter the weather, you’re full of zest.

Thirty-six years together of excitement and fun

Until destiny decreed to end your run.

With pride and speed to heaven you went

Leaving behind you your Channel scent.

Jacko

A puppy we decided, in Casablanca, to buy

A man on the seafront caught our eye

Two puppies he seemed intent to sell

He lifted them up, so we could tell

One of them had sand on his paws

He was the one making squeaky noise

The other was quiet and seemed subdued

He was more polite, while the other was rude

You said it’s the naughty one that you want

A dog, you claimed, must his power flaunt

You asked the man about his selling price

You agreed a figure, that he had refused twice

The puppy’s name is Jacko you said

In a box, in our car, you made him a bed

Towards our home, we quickly, sped

You needed to build him a wooden shed.

Our Gardner was tasked with a shed to build

While one of the maids a basin, with water, filled

Jacko was dipped, and thoroughly, cleaned

To the vet, he went, to be suitably screened.

The day thus ended with all tasks complete

The targets you’ve set, you successfully did meet.

The attention and care that to Jacko you showed

In all aspects of life, was your standard mode.

Responsibility you assumed, with tact and flair

The motto you followed, wherever you were

Is that life is for the strong, and those who dare.

Seabird

A seabird came to our garden today

He decided at our poolside to stay

He sat where you used to always sit

He spread his wings and looked quite fit

He dipped his head towards the pool to drink

His beak into the water he now did sink

I looked at him, and he looked at me

I wandered if he, my pain, could see

And that’s why, in our garden, decided to be

I waited to see what next, he’ll do

Maybe he has a message from you

How would I know, if that message, is true

It must be something only known to us two.

He flipped his wings and started to squeak

As if he is asking me, my thoughts, to speak

Maybe it’s a message, from me, you seek.

With the bird’s small brain as my cue

My message had simple words and few

“I love Saadia, and will always do”

He took the message and away he flew.

Saadia’s Truth

From her you hear the unvarnished truth

To some it may appear, blunt and uncouth

What you hear, is the reality she sees

Whether it pleases or does not please

Giving a judgement, she does not seek

But if questioned, she will her mind, speak.

Her opinion of you she does not volunteer

But if you ask her, that opinion you’ll hear.

Words with her are not sugar coated

Yet always, softly and politely stated.

Her statements are precise and clear

Logically presented, without any fear.

Saadia with all, is always frank

If truth you seek, her words you’ll thank.

She is quick-witted and always alert

From long dialogues, she will avert

She will listen carefully to what you say

She’ll say yes or no and then be on her way.

She will not, to you, her decision, explain

My sweetheart is a puzzle, to any brain

With few words she can make you laugh or cry

Enjoy her words and do not ask her why.

A force of life; she is one of a kind

With actions and words, that will blow your mind.

In her sea of excitement, thirty-six years I spent

Waves of delight that never stop or relent

Happiness left me, when to heaven she went.

Olive Trees

Four olive trees, on a wall, reside

In a pot of earth, their roots, they hide

Majestic, they stand, full of pride

As a memorial to my adorable bride.

For thirty-six years, we were side by side

With love and trust taking life in a stride.

Her body gave up, to heaven she went

From loving her, I’ll never relent.

Those olive trees are here to say

She was my lady, and so she’ll stay.

The trees overlook the ground beneath

Their branches huddle to from a wreath

Marble plaques, at their base below

Itched with words, my love they show

A living memorial those olive trees make

Towards the heavens, my eyes, they take

Here beneath them where I stand

I feel the heavenly touch of her hand.

Shadows

In the shadows I see her smile

A lady of beauty, elegance and style

I stretch my hand to feel her face

She disappears without a trace.

I return my hand to my side

She ceases, from me, to hide

Her finger waves the sign of no

I cannot touch her; now I know

To be so near and yet so far

A world of shadows is where we are.

I am happy, her image, just to see

I feel her presence, close to me

I chase her shadow, as my head I turn

To always see her, I desperately yearn

Wherever I look, on whatever I stare

I see her shadow smiling there.

Maybe those shadows are not true

But my doubts, if any, are very few.

In this world of shadows, I seek to reside

I do so with affection, care and pride

With photos and poetry these shadows I feed

Their presence with me, I desperately need

A sense of belonging, they in me breed

To that world of shadows, I humbly cede.

Furniture

We decided some new furniture to buy

Several stores in London we did try

We settled on an elegant leather suite

Two settees, four chairs, our need did meet

In colour we had a choice between two

It was either white or a lightish blue

You were dressed in an elegant white suit

Wearing white earrings shaped like a flute

I said the blue, with your clothes, was so cute

You smiled and said, you cannot buy furniture that way

Choosing a colour based on what I am dressed today

Why not, I said, that’s what I always do

I link all my choices proudly to you.

Your smile turned into a gentle laugh

Our choice was blue; we told the staff.

Oh, how I miss those exciting days

When we dealt with life as a playful maze

Its ups and downs we together travelled

On what others expected, we never settled

For freedom of choice, we always battled.

Alert and cautious, but one fact was true

Every choice I made, on my mind, was you.

You’ve gone to heaven and alone I stay

No excitement to share, no games to play

On less trodden roads I will alone travel

No tarmac avenues only paths with gravel

Memories of you in my rucksack I carry

Just roaming around with no need to hurry.

Words

Some words I hear

Do make me cheer

Others invite from me a tear

The reasons are always very clear

They trigger a memory, of you, so dear

Something you said, when you were sad

Or a reference to an event, we jointly had

Words that pull an emotional string

A reaction from me, they always bring

A sentence or word I hear in a song

Or maybe to a film they do belong

A treasure of memories, of you, I keep

Deep inside me they peacefully sleep

A word I hear makes a memory leap

Stirring in me, feelings so deep

Every emotion I have is linked to you

You are on my mind in every action I do

There is no reason or logic I can give

Except to say, that’s how I now live.

Time has stopped, in all but name

The pain of your death, is still the same

“Goodbye” my love is such a difficult word

It cuts through me like a sharpened sword

Vor Allem

If asked, how Saadia, to others compare

I smile and decide, my opinion, to share

Saadia is “Vor Allem”, my response will be

Unless they are German, they’d look puzzled at me

What does that mean, those interested, may ask

I have no intention to make easy their task

Saadia was always to all a puzzle

With beauty and intellect, she would dazzle

To compare her to others would be a sin

When I say that to her, she would always grin.

To the claim that I’m biased, I proudly concede

To me she is always right, whatever her deed.

A decision she’d make or a word she’d say

She would not explain, come what may

“Vor Allem”, she was, and will always be

That’s how her status I will always see

Two and a half years ago she passed away

Besotted by her I will always stay.

Her bones are buried, that I know

Her spirit embraces me wherever I go.

‘Above all’ is what ‘Vor Allem’ in German mean

For those who, on its meaning, are so keen

A woman with such talent I have rarely seen

‘Vor Allem’ best describes my lovely queen.

Poems For You

I see your smile in the poems I write

I fight my tears, when their words I recite

Through them I seek to talk to you

By them I describe the Saadia I knew

Stories I tell of how with life you danced

And how we, each other, romanced

How beautiful and intelligent you amazingly were

Acting in a manner that few would dare

A woman so unique; a woman so rare

Excitement does follow you everywhere

Your thrilling life, I was privileged to share

Thirty-six years of friendship, love and care.

When destiny decreed that your life must end

Into a deep hole of grief, I did descend

To cope with that downward trend

I decided to soothe that painful end

I wanted to feel continuously with you

Expressing the feelings of love so true

Through poems I wrote addressed to you

Your memory they carry in every verse

Between heaven and earth their words traverse

I do not know if their words you hear

Through them I feel your always near

I cannot allow buried bones to dictate

That I bury with them a love so great.

Five-Year-Old

Stories of when you were five years old

By your Mum, I was affectionally told

Of tasks you did, courageous and bold

To the thrill of adventure your time you sold

Under your Mum’s watchful eye

From what is new, you’d never shy

Courageously willing to give it a try.

With your grandma, cows you’d milk

Your hands so small, your skin like silk

From that fresh milk, then you’d drink

In a stream your feet you’d playfully sink

The water droplets would make you blink.

With your Mum, fresh bread you’d bake

And on occasions, a cake you’d make.

A play kitchen for you, your dad, bought

Recipes from your Mum you playfully sought

At your uncle’s ranch you would climb a tree

To check how far away you can see

A camel you spot, with a stick you chase

It turns around, away from it you’d race

You lock yourself in a barn to hide

And from that barn, that camel, you chide.

A flute you’d make from a discarded cane

In so doing, your thumb, you strain

You were told near the open well not to go

Yet you went in order, in it, stones you’d throw.

From an early age, rules you would not obey

That daring spirit, remained with you, to your final day.

Thirty-three years later, we, as strangers, did meet

Destiny conspired so that we each other would greet

A mesmerising beauty causing my heart, fast to beat

You were elegantly dressed, with a smile so sweet

Thirty-six years of love from that day we’d share

Each minute was full of adventure and dare

Drenched with excitement, friendship and care.

That five-year-old girl became a woman so rare

With beauty, talent, intelligence and flair

When right is by your side, you will never scare

No weakness you’d show, responsibility you’d bear.

Your departure to heaven was sudden and swift

The banner of your achievements, high up, I will lift

That five-year-old, was to me, from heaven a gift.

Her stories I will endeavour to continue to tell

Until destiny decides to ring my earthly bell.

Dance

I remember our first dance together

Its images will last with me forever

We were seated on a semi- circular settee

Your stunning beauty was so pleasing to see

Elegantly dressed, with a mesmerising smile

I have never met a woman with such style.

Our meeting unplanned, purely by chance

Hearing a lovely song, I invited you to dance

To the dancefloor we walked, I was in a trance.

The band played on; time seemed to stop

Our dance was slow even when the song was pop.

The band then stopped; our dance never did

On a lifetime together, we decided to bid

In a golden box of love, we sat and closed its lid

From all that was before, we did, ourselves, rid

Thirty-six years of passion and happiness we’d see

That day that we danced, life started for me

From that day on, from my history I was free

All I did thereafter was to ‘dance’ with thee.

Lovely years passed by; to heaven you went

Into a world of emptiness, I was unexpectedly sent

No smiles, no kisses, none of your intoxicating scent

The dance floor was empty, the band had forever left

I started to shiver, to the beat of memories I kept

A darkness inside me, laid its bed and slept

The tears on my cheeks by my hand I swept

That first dance with you I will never forget

No answers I have as to why we had met

I am just grateful for the hand I was dealt

I wish more years with you I could have spent

But our time on earth are minutes we rent

Thirty-six years of love is all we were allowed to get

Maybe in heaven, our tent we will again set.

Umbrella

Down Queensway towards Whitely you were walking

It was raining, so your umbrella you were holding

A young Chinese girl worried about the rain too

Asked if she could share the umbrella with you

You smiled at her and said yes that she can do

We reached Whitely’s and the girl was very polite

She thanked you and disappeared from our sight

I asked, with a smile, if you knew this Chinese girl

No, you said, as your umbrella you started to whirl

Lots of people were on that road that day

All with umbrellas to keep the rain away

Yet that girl chose under your umbrella to be

Your goodness, on your face, she could clearly see

I used to say that God wiped his hand on your face

And your mesmerising smile was the telling trace

As I did, we each other would, affectionately, embrace

That girl, like me, in your features, could feel your grace

You returned to heaven, which was your starting base

Your spirit is still alive, I know that to be the case

I feel your presence, as in your home, I aimlessly pace

From one image of yours to another I tend to race

Your memories are the umbrella I carry today

They soothe my pain and keep my sadness at bay

That feeling of love for you that I have will always stay

In poems I will, those feelings of mine, continuously say.

If that is an obsession, I am proud for it, so to be

You are, my love, the only one, that I can truly see

So it was when you were alive, and so it will always be

Holding eachother we will always walk, just you and me.

Ten O’clock

At the stroke of ten our clock said Hi

At the stroke of ten was our last goodbye

Thirty-six years of love passed in-between

Of joy and happiness that is rarely seen

Tuesday evening it was, when we first met

Thursday night it was, when to heaven you went

September seventeenth was our first hello

March third when to heaven you did go

Days and times that I will never forget

A lifetime of love between them they set.

My clock is broken, my time has stopped

But my love for you can never be blocked.

There is no other with whom I wish to be

Your lovely face is what I ache to see

Your memories are what I daily embrace

They define my time and dictate my pace

Thirty months have gone since you passed away

Your stories in poetry I will continue to proudly say

While building you memorials from marble and clay.

My broken clock, will strike for me, some final day

In those heavenly gardens, we will then, forever stay.

Snow

To a land so far, I happened to go

Nothing there, but water and snow

On wings of imagination to there I fly

Where mountain peaks are so high

Saadia is there, waiting for me

Together, once more, we shall be

Wearing the fur coat we together bought

She gave me a hug that I desperately sought

I asked her if this was just a dream

With love and care her face did beam

She said some dreams, reality, they hide

Let us together into their domain slide

She asked me if I was feeling cold

How can I be, when her body I hold

She said she must, back to heaven, go

I kissed her hand in that land of snow

Like I did, the final time her body I saw.

In this world of dreams, I seek to be

Where reality is what I wish to see

I close my eyes and with lightning speed

My mind gives me what I desperately need

In the world of dreams where I choose to reside

My lovely Saadia is always by my side.

Realities I know, I can never change

But in my world of dreams nothing is strange

In my world of dreams, I am not asleep

I am just swimming with memories so deep

Feelings of love I do not need to explain

I hold them close, my spirit, they sustain

Logic and illusions are outputs of my brain

I use them, as needed, so that tranquillity I gain.

Drum

I heard a faint sound of a rhythmic drum

From a cluster of trees, it seems to come

The sound had a rhythm of a heartbeat

Regular, consistent and refreshingly neat

The trees were more than ten meters high

Their trunks extended towards the sky

Saadia had planted those Araucaria trees

They grew so tall swaying with the breeze

As I got close to that cluster of trees

The heartbeat sound did suddenly cease

I looked up to the sky, a cloud I could see

Its shape appeared like a smile would be

I knew then that Saadia was talking to me

Through a message from where spirits are free

I slept on my back on that grassy ground

I could hear again that drumming sound

I felt a breeze softly touching my face

My heartbeat was faster; my blood did race

I remembered when Saadia’s hand I’d kiss

She would touch my face, exactly like this

I felt so serene and in a state of bliss

That touch of Her’s I desperately miss.

I love her so, and I will always do

The message she sent, says she loves me too.

Her message came to me from all around

The swaying trees making a heartbeat sound

The breeze on my face, and that smiling cloud

All were clues, that in my direction, were bound.

Wherever I am, my surroundings seem to say

Saadia is with me, and so she will stay.

Villa Ghandi

A villa in Ghandi boulevard you bought

A part of Casablanca, very much sought

Years before we met was that purchase made

It was where your Mum and siblings stayed

Seven hundred meters was the size of the land

On it, a building of two stories, did stand

Your Mum wanted a home close to the shops

You found the right one, after pulling all the stops

This you designated as your family’s home

Where later your Mum’s grandchildren did roam

The parameter walls were strong and high

Any intruder, they would easily defy

The garden was paved but had many trees

It was designed to have a very nice breeze

A garage, outside kitchen, and rooms for staff

Were added by builders on your behalf.

Two large sitting rooms where on the ground floor

Which were linked together by a sliding door

A family room, was on the ground floor too

Having a large window with a garden view

An indoor kitchen was also there

Where stocks of food were kept in care.

Three bedrooms were on the first floor

With cupboards that gave ample store

Two bathrooms above and one below

Hot water through them you ensured would flow.

In that Ghandi home, your Mum had stayed

Until the day, in her grave, she was laid

That unlimited love that you, as a daughter, did show

Very few mothers, from their daughters, would know.

Now that you’re with your Mum, in a heavenly home

Villa Ghandi is left alone facing an inheritance storm.

I am not party to its ownership, so I cannot tell

To what stranger, your inheritors, that villa, will sell.

My guess that a new owner, the villa, will demolish

Commercial buildings in that area have flourished.

I believe that villa, when its demolished, will weep

But in cyber space, of who she was, I’ll always keep

This poem will, her story tell, after her final sleep.

Memories of Love

Life is defined by the choices we make

And by promises we do freely take

A feeling of true love can never die

Unless from the beginning, it was a lie

‘Forever’ to bodies does not apply

But memories we should never deny

Through my poems your memory I will keep

Once documented, they can lovingly sleep

But if awakened, to your defence, they’ll leap.

It is not a question of me living in the past

It’s about fixing your flag on tomorrow’s mast

In years to come someone may decide to read

Of what in your life you have achieved

And how you lived, and what you believed

So, your fabric of ‘forever’, in poems is weaved.

You had stated that your life was yours to live

You choose whom to love and what to give

Rules you said, need to be questioned and challenged

With intuition and logic, your actions, you managed

In words and promises, you rarely did trust

Tangible deliveries, for you, were always a must

Of what is expected from you, you’d give a miss

Unpredictability was the path to your desired bliss

A woman of action, you have always been

Upfront and daring, on responsibility keen

Multi-talented, with a beauty that is rarely seen

A force of life whether you were mature or teen.

Orphan siblings you protected; houses you built

Court cases you won, always to justice you tilt

Clothes that you wore, showed elegance and style

Tasty dishes you cooked, surpassing others by a mile.

A mother you loved like no other daughter could

The world you travelled, but on solid ground you always stood

You danced with life until the music stopped

To heaven’s gate you swiftly and suddenly hopped.

Thirty-six years of love we together had,

Every minute of which more happiness you’d add

This time we shared, every day of which

You made my life, with excitement, enormously rich.

To the likes of us there are no goodbyes

One body may die, but our love never dies

You

You were, my darling, never weak

The approval of others you did not seek

What you think is right you will do

With wings of intuition, you always flew.

When patience you think is in demand

You will, for a while, accept its command

But that will be limited and not for long

Patience’s hold on you was never strong.

‘Give me results’, would be your shout

To anyone who claims he has clout

Those you love you will always protect

You never spend time on remorse or regret

On actions you’ve taken, or conditions you’ve set.

Any burden, with courage, you will lift

Your spirit for battle is always ready and fit

The few you allowed to become close to you

Your affection to them was always true

But if with arrogance they do behave

That affection you will quickly wave.

If a path, you have decided freely to take

With subtlety and talent any block you’ll break

From action, when needed, you would never shy

Truth is your sword; you despise those who lie

One smile from you would make a rock melt

A volcano of excitement you can easily set

You’d give support to the weak and meek

If your support, they deservedly seek.

‘Bubbling with life’, is your middle name

You’d make those around you feel the same.

The evening, we said our last goodbye

You were an eagle ready, tomorrow, to fly

Little did I know that night you’d die

Your heart stopped pumping on that sad night

After seventy-three years, it would no more fight.

Two and a half years have passed since this horrific event

Yet the pain I feel, for losing you, does not relent

Its continuous presence, in my being, I do not regret

For it is how my spirit, says to yours, I’ll never forget.

Your bones are now, underneath the soil

But my love for you, no death would foil

You were, you are, and you will always be

The only one that my heart can see.

Turkish Series

Turkish series on television you’d watch

How some characters, their life, they botch.

A Japanese style floor-bed you have carefully set

So, you can watch while resting your body and head

The series is dubbed in a language you know

The drama is designed your emotions to draw.

Situations you see that you have experienced in life

You feel angry when you see that evil is rife

You never did, any mistreatment, accept

Punishing the guilty, you never did regret

A character that in the series you happen to meet

Upsets you immensely, if he or she, happens to cheat

With anger, their appearance, you’d always greet.

A harming secret you would wish exposed

Your stressed if the truth, remains, untold

Although to Turkey you have not been

Its cities and towns you feel you’ve seen.

You brief me daily on how the story evolved

I enjoy it immensely, when the story by you, is told

Your description of the characters is such a delight

It shows perception built on your legendry insight

You tell me the story in a detailed and thrilling style

I sit, and lovingly listen, mesmerised for a while

It’s not the story that really matters to me

It’s my excitement that it is being told by thee.

In our chats we link the characters that you saw

To people in other countries, we happen to know.

The behaviour of humans, to us, was never a puzzle

Their expected behaviour, we knew, how to unravel.

As lovers and friends, we had the same worldview

Worst scenarios, we plan, that they will become true.

If good does happen then, it will be a welcome treat

But if bad does, then we face it, standing on our feet.

Destiny decreed you’ll see Turkish series no more

As you were suddenly invited to heaven’s door.

Your floor bed is now, respectfully, in a cupboard kept

Your TV is permanently off, and its screen to darkness is set

It’s fixed to a wall, where its final ‘switch off’, it now has met

No one will be allowed to use it, on that, you can safely bet

The Turkish series, has now your TV, forever left

A note I wrote, I stuck on your TV, as I silently wept

“Saadia has gone to that heavenly place of eternal rest.”

Nightmare

When Saadia and I, on our tomorrow, did bet

There was a nightmare I used to regularly get

In that nightmare from which I so did fret

I missed a rendezvous, we have together set

Anxiety and fear, on me then quickly crept

My body feels cold; I am covered in sweat.

I desperately wake up, my Saadia I see

She touches my face, from fear, I then am free

The nightmare then, loses its grip on me.

My world has changed, with her passing away

My nightmare now, is here with me to stay.

No waking-up button, for me to press

To relieve myself from that nightmarish stress.

Alternatives then, I had to quickly find

To feel that Saadia, is still by my side

Memorials I built, and poems I wrote

To feel her with me, in my every thought.

That hole of grief is so deep and steep

From its pull, I must endeavour to leap

It is not enough to be sad, or like a child weep

Now that she’s gone into an eternal sleep.

As my sorrows grow, and their burdens heap

Her memory, always, I must act to keep.

Saadia was a ‘doer’; she acted with drive

I will, with vigour, keep her memory alive

My memorials and poems are intended to say,

She is still by my side, night and day

That nightmare of her absence, is always here

By embracing her memories, I soothe my fear.

Her private things, I keep in my care

It makes me feel, my life with her, I still do share

The emptiness I feel, I must confront and dare

So, with Images of her, I surround myself, everywhere.

I do not need, my behaviour, to justify or explain

For only I know, how to manage, my nightmare’s pain.

Grief is a monster, whose bite, my flesh does tear

Those things I do, are intended to fight my despair.

I confront my grief in the poems, for her, I write

That monster, I will, every day, confront and fight.

Audited thoughts

I audit in my mind words you have said

To decide how best to plan ahead

Actions I feel that I may need to take

Which I think they may reduce my ache

Things I do, for people I know you like

Or steps I take, for your memories to spike

Places I visit, because you would want me to

Moves I know, if you’re alive, you would do

My days must fit with plans you would have had

Walking a path, you walked, would make me glad

Life with you was full of excitement and pleasure

I must through thought, our memories tressure.

To create a feeling that you are always around

I must try to recapture past waves of your sound

My mind can make my ears, your words, to hear

Words that you’ve said become audible and clear

I know these are illusions, but that’s what I need

Memories of you I must, my spirit, continuously feed

I know such feelings are difficult for others to gage

That’s why you are the only actor on my stage.

Through poems to you, my situation I explain

By building memorials, our link, I maintain

For only you would know the depth of my pain

Team

A formidable team, you and I, did make

Any assignment, we were ready to take

Our talents were suited and did easily fit

A thinker and a doer, on life’s river we’d sit

Ready and willing to its demands to commit

In a place and time that, with our plans, does fit.

From imagination, a new situation we’d create

We’d then march it through reality’s gate

What was a thought, now has a rigid state.

Pragmatic and practical we always were

A strong belief in results, we both did share

No leader or follower, to each other, we’d be

The success of our adventure is all we seek to see.

Patience sometimes can, under pressure, be strained

But our love, for each other, is always maintained

Winners we were, but each in our separate field

Giving each other the right, our privacy, to shield.

Equals we were, and always we did that way stay

In thirty-six years, from equality, neither did stray.

True love cannot be built on dominance or need

It only survives if, from such shackles, it is freed

True love implies friendship, attention and care

And a vision of life, that two lovers believe and share

We had all that, thus making us a formidable pair.

Time was the treasure, with each other, we spent

Until that day when to heaven you went

All that remains are the lovely memories you left.

In memorials and poems those memories I keep

They allow my feelings into a world of reality to leap

To help me cope with the tragedy of your final sleep.

Sports Car

Saadia drove different cars with skill and care

Her driving talent, had a history, full of flair

On whatever road she drove, that flair was there.

A grey sports car, was a favourite of her many cars

Mercedes was its make, bullet shaped, with no scars

Its roof top is solid, but into the boot it would fold

The car would its top remove, if by Saadia, it is told.

Saadia taught all her cars how in traffic to dance

But she never took, on the road, any foolish chance

Passersby would give her cars an admiring glance

But if Saadia was inside, they stare, as if in a trance.

As time went by that sports car became a classic

Saadia’s other cars were better at manoeuvring traffic.

When her sports car heard that Saadia had passed away

The car insisted, in its garage, to always stay.

Another car, a black sedan, did the same

Mercedes too was that sedan’s given name

Those two cars of hers were adamant in their claim

To be driven by anyone, but Saadia, would be a sin

In her absence, their wheels will refuse to spin.

Nothing for them to justify; nothing to explain

In her memory, they will, from being on roads, refrain.

Those machines, with hearts of steel, ‘feel’ like me

Without Saadia, behind their wheel, static they’ll be

Her smiling face, in their mirror, is what they ache to see

Her lovely feet on their peddles, they seek to feel

Her manicured hands, caressing their steering wheel.

With Saadia in heaven, those cars ceased to be the same

She was their queen, since the day from the factory they came

I’ll comply with their request and in their garages let them be

From the intrusion of others, I’ll make sure, they are free

Ahmet Chef

Ahmet Chef is a Turkish restaurant where we eat

It sits at a corner where two Casablanca streets meet

We walk to our table, which is located at the entrance door

It has a reserved sign, but the waiters there, know the score

You sit at our table, on a settee, facing the street

I sit opposite you, so our eyes can always meet

You’re handed a tablet, which their menu does hold

Showing photos of their dishes, both hot and cold

The waiter stands by you, waiting your choice, to be told

As the pages of the tablet, you carefully, trolled

For starters we’ll have dolmades and meat on pita bread

Kuba, tzatziki, humus and some beat root in a lattice bed

The main course, is always, for us the same

Grilled meat on a skewer, Adana kebab, is its name

For dessert, a pastry, called baklava, we’ll eat

Filled with pistachios and soaked in syrup so sweet.

Coffee for you to follow, for me it is minted tea

Our lunch we finished, the time is nearly three

Takeaway, you order, for your sister; at home is she.

Our luncheon feast is now complete

It was, as usual, a relaxing and a lovely treat.

By car you drive us, back to our homely retreat

A villa in Ghandi, which is our Casablanca seat.

You stretch on your bed to take your afternoon nap

I sit at my computer, and on its keyboard, I tap.

Love has been a bliss, for you and me

Making our choices, from traditions free

Each other, is all we needed, life to be.

Memorial Balcony

A memorial balcony for you I built

Among its potted plants I serenely sit

Photos of you are installed everywhere

On them, while sitting, I lovingly stare

On my right, your front memorial garden I see

Marble plaques, with words that describe thee

And if I look straight, then I can see the sea

Blue and smooth, yet indifferent to me

Looking up, there your smiling face will be

That smile of yours that always set my spirit free.

A photo of your Mausoleum was also installed

To complete the story, that by this balcony, is told

The Mausoleum has your memories as its crown

A two-story structure that resides in another town

In one thousand square meters of mausoleum space

A visitor can your life-story, through photos and poetry, trace

Or can virtually visit that mausoleum in cyber space.

A staircase from the balcony to a roof terrace goes

Which overlooks the memorial back garden of yours

Treasured with your photos, that marble frames hold

And marble plaques on which your stories are told.

The balcony has another opening that is set

Overlooking a corridor by which the two gardens connect

In that corridor more marble plaques reside

Itched with poems I wrote for you with pride.

From your balcony, all your memorials, I can see

In their embrace, memories are held, so dear to me

At night the balcony is fully lit, to make a heartfelt plea

This is Saadia’s earthly home; in heaven, now is she.

My sadness still prospers, but the memorials I make

Is all I can do, so that the sadness, I temporarily shake.

Move on they tell me, but the question is to where

All that I desire, is a life with Saadia, again, to share.

Pride

If one word with which, I was you, to describe

Limiting my ability other words to ascribe

That descriptive word would be your pride

Behand it, all your actions would purposely hide

It dictates how in a situation you’d behave

It gives you strength to intimidation, never to cave

You were born in this world to be always free

To no human you would bend the knee

You walk the land with your head held high

No one above you, except the Creator in the sky.

Injustice and bullying, you would never accept

From it, yourself and loved ones, you’d protect

Many stories about your abilities I can tell

When an arrogant person tried, at your expense, to excel

You slapped him down, and he or she hopelessly fell

Battles you do not seek to intentionally fight

But you will do so, if you felt deprived of your right

You’ll only ask to receive what is justly yours

Using intelligence and guile not teeth and claws.

Your pride was visible to the powerful and strong

When they tried to take what to you did rightly belong

You would walk into a place with glamour and style

Paralysing those present with your mesmerising smile

They would then decide, of their own free will

To give you the top seat, for you to fill.

I had the privilege, by your side, always, to be

This poem describes what I did truthfully see

The Bee

A jacket one day for you I bought

It was quite elegant, that’s what you thought

Filled with feathers, warmth to keep

Its colour was black, with pockets deep

In winter, in the garden, this jacket you’d wear.

In the garden, one day, walking you were

While I was sitting on my rocking chair

A bee did fly by, and it you did stalk

A black orchid flower, she assumed, you’d be

Such a beautiful flower, she’d rarely see

You wave her away; she goes to a tree.

She comes back again, full of lust for thee

In anger I leave my rocking chair

This bee, I must, confront and dare

She must not our garden share

My arms I start to wave in the air

You look at me with love and care

No harm to me, you’d ever bear

At the bee you run; so, the bee you’d scare

Two people in love, each other they protect

The safety of the other, is what each would select

The bee decided the two lovers alone to leave

In the sanctity of love, she seemed to strongly believe.

I returned to the comfort of my rocking chair

Yet alert and focused with an intense stare.

Destiny decided; I can protect Saadia no more

She was ushered to go to heaven’s door

A sound inside me did with anxiety roar

I’ll always be her lover, for evermore.

In the garden I sit; for hours I stay

Wishing that bee, will return some day

I will always love Saadia, to the bee, I’ll say

Love is eternal, though the body may decay

The bee would buzz, and as before, fly away.

Fish

In a store in London, they had a new treat

In a water basin, small fish nibbles at your bare feet

I suggested to Saadia to try that treat

Allowing the fish to dance at her feet

She laughed and said, why not you

I said that my ugly feet, are better hidden, in my shoe

She was reluctant that treat to try

She was worried that some fish would accidently die

The salesperson assured her that this was not the case

And that her worries, had really no base

She looked at me with a grin on her face

Her cheeks did glow, as her blood did race

A sense of reluctance I could still trace

I said the fish will find your feet such a treat

Such beauty and elegance they’ll never meet

She laughed and removed her mules from her feet

And comfortably sat on the provided seat

The bottom of her trousers she now did fold

With a provided clip that fold she’d hold

She was ready now for her feet in the basin to bed

She will try one foot first, she calmly said

As she lowered her first foot in

There it was again, that gorgeous grin

The fish started at her feet to nibble

She started to laugh as her foot they’d tickle

With joy and pleasure her toes she’d wiggle

The next foot went in with confidence now

In the fish domain both her feet did plough

The pleasure she felt, I too did strongly feel

Our spirits are one, that was always the deal.

Lights

The lights every evening, in your garden, are on

To say that one more day, without you, has gone

Also to say that the in that day that passed

Deeds were done to make your memory last.

I hope the lights do my love to you convey

And that from heaven you can see their display.

When I put my head on my pillow I see

Your star-like garden lights winking at me

I feel as if you are saying goodnight

As my need to sleep starts to bite

I recall how I kissed your cheek before I sleep

I close my eyes so this memory I trap and keep

A feeling of sadness into my body does creep

Tomorrow, I know, will be no different than today

You have to heaven gone; without you, I stay.

I open my eyes once more, those lights to see

I feel from their sparkle that you are smiling at me

I close my eyes so the sight of your smile I keep

I try once more, by holding on that image, to sleep

That feeling of sadness, resumes its creep

More pressure on me it continues to heap.

An image of your smiling face suddenly appears

A sense of tranquillity, into my mind, it steers

My feeling of sadness then instantly disappears

I hear your soft voice lulling me to sleep

Into a world of nothing, I sink so deep.

Magic

Some people around us a tale would tell

That you had on me some magic spell

How otherwise, they would with confidence, say

That I am with you, night and day

That no other, does my eyes see

And that nothing but you, matters to me.

The theory they did spread around

Is that you had some magic wand

That makes me do whatever you ask

And perceive your happiness, as my only task

The magic, they said, with time would weak

And when that happens, others I’ll seek

When my love kept growing, never reaching a peak

That magic, they said, must be unique.

That magic, my lovely, is who you are

With a gravity so strong, it can pull any star

The magic, my dearest, was that you chose me

As your friend and lover, to always be.

Your departure to heaven, was sudden and swift

But that magic of love, I have for you, would never lift

Your body has gone, but your spirit is here

My life, your magic, will continue to steer.

Squirrel

On a bench at Hide Park, I sat today

Images of us here, my memory, did play

A squirrel passed by and decided to stay

He lifted his face as if he had something to say

Saadia did like squirrels, that I know

She was very happy when one she saw

He must have sensed that I was sad

Maybe my face showed the pain I had

Or maybe Saadia had asked him to appear

To tell me she’s with me, so my sadness will clear.

I felt elated by the thought that she did this

My spirit became tranquil and in a state of bliss

The world around me only with her eyes I see

Her memories define how my day will be

Her name pops up every time I speak

Whatever I see, a link to her memory I seek

These illusions need no logic to explain

They, my spirit, do immensely sustain

Saadia was, is, and she will always be

That emotional tiger that resides in me.

With stones of logic, the world, I command

When it comes to her, those stones turn to sand.

Thirty-two months since she passed away

In her memory, I seek to spend, every day

We all must have a cause that wills us to live

In my case it’s poems, to Saadia, I give.

Life

Your Mum did come to London to visit you

Your young niece accompanied her too

You were so happy when they were here

It did so please you to see them near.

The four of us everywhere we’d go

When it is sunny, rainy or full of snow

Your niece was like a daughter to you

You treated her better than any mother would do

She called you Mum, and she felt it too.

Your love for her I can see in your eyes

The happiness you felt was my best prize.

Years went by, and life played its game

Things do rarely remain the same

Life conspired to drift you apart

But she was always entrenched in your heart

Her vision of life was different than yours

She decided to take her chosen course.

In the months before you passed away

Of your love for her, you’d to me say.

If you were alive, I know what you would do

I will therefore do it, on behalf of you

There is no cause for you more true

For those you love, anything you’d do.

With pride and passion, you lived your life

Every minute of which with excitement was rife

The roads you took I will certainly follow

Life without you is empty and hollow

London Cab

I got into a London cab and told him to go

To places in London, that you liked, I know

He did not understand what I was doing

But he was happy, his meter, my money was chewing

Oxford Street was our first port of call

From Marble Arch to Oxford Circus the cab did troll

I then asked that towards Harrods he is to drive

The traffic was heavy, but we managed to thrive

At the Italian restaurant, facing Harrods, where we used to eat

Antipasto, escalope Milanese followed by a delicious sweet.

Queensway was the next location I aimed for

I stopped where Royal China was, but is no more

Twenty years of lunches at that restaurant were our score

The two of us always occupy the same table for four

Secluded from the rest, each other’s company we keep

Immersed in love in an ocean of care is so deep.

To Porchester Terrance I then with the cab went

To Porchester Baths, where six hours per week you spent.

Tuesday and Fridays were your target days

Three hours per session were your usual stays.

To Westfield Mall, I then directed the cab to go

You shopped there with gusto, that I know.

The grin, while there, that accompanied you

It was the best sign of happiness I ever knew.

My tour was finished, so I asked the cabby to stop

I left the cab, as tears on my cheeks started to drop.

There is nothing for me to seek but memories of you

That London is you, will always be true.

That bubbling city we loved is still there

But without you, her excitement, I cannot share

When you smiled, London smiled for me too

You passed away, sadness took over me like a glue

Life with you was sunny and its sky always blue

If there is one thing to say about London that is eternally true

With a wave of happiness, she smothered me and you.

I saw the cab that I had taken, drive away

On the sidewalk, alone, I decided to stay

Twilight

Facing your garden while seated on my rocking chair

On your many photos, in marble frames, I lovingly stare

In the twilight of the day, I look up towards the blue sky

I see white clouds passing by, slowly drifting, as if they’re shy

Each of these clouds seem to have a different shape

I have a feeling that they carry a message inside their cape

A ciphered message that from heaven is sent to me by you

My heart beats faster, as I become convinced that to be true

I analyse the shape of every passing cloud

Trying to figure out what the message is about

Worried that the twilight, will soon disappear

As the dusk arrives, the clouds will not be as clear.

One cloud I see, seems to have the shape of a heart

That must be your message, it is caring and smart

I lift my arm and start to wave to that passing cloud

So that you’d know that I have, your message, found

Dusk arrives, and the night will settle very soon

A new message, I hope, will arrive, via the moon

Whose dark and light regions give a morse code

Of a message, on its surface, you would, artistically load.

Or from a star, with a pulsating light, that I would see

That gives me the message that you are winking at me.

So here I sit, facing your garden, on my rocking chair

Wearing a thick jacket and a cap that covers my hair

Waiting for heavenly bodies, your messages, to declare

Feeling elated by the heavenly bond that we do share.

To many, my behaviour may seem a bit strange

That my love for you, is not confined to an earthly cage

Yet a Sufi, my dearest, would fully, my position, understand

That love is eternal and is not constrained by gravel and sand.

The Ducks

In summertime we would lunch by the sea

At the resort where we reside you and me

From our villa to the restaurant, we would walk

Joking and sometimes having a serious talk

On the road some ducks, we usually see

They come quaking to you, yet never to me

Bread, you give them under a shading tree

They crowd around you, clearly ignoring me.

You give me some bread so I can feed them too

They ignore my bread, and keep surrounding you

I smile and say that if I was a duck, I’d do that too

It’s you, not the bread, those ducks do seek

When they see you, their pleasure does peak.

The bread you feed them is bread that you bake

You cut it to pieces and in a plastic bag you take.

I come closer and give your cheek a kiss

The ducks quack louder; two of them start to hiss.

Jealous they are, and want to be alone with you

Ignoring my bread, was supposed to be my clue.

All the bread you brought in the plastic bag they ate

We start to walk, and they follow you in a happy state

You open your hands, no bread is left, you indicate

I do not know if the words you speak, they understand

They seem obedient, willing to accept your command

This story I tell, in this poem, is genuinely true

Those ducks, like me, just loved to be with you.

I have not been to see them since you passed away

They may ask about you; and what then can I say

All I can do, is my sadness, with tears, convey.

I see no reason to spoil the image of you they had

By giving them news that is both bad and sad

Let them remember you as the beauty with the bread

From whose elegant hands they were happily fed.

I and those ducks will never again meet

Now that in heaven you have your eternal seat.

Evening Call

Whenever either of us was travelling away

I call you at nine in the evening, hello to say

Never did we, in thirty-six years, that arrangement betray

That time was precise, we ensured no delay

If that time is missed, then an emergency is in play

The time is where you are, and not where I happen to be

Nothing else at that time, is more important to me

When the clock strikes nine and I dial my call

Nothing you’d allow your hello to stall

Ten minutes before I check my phone

Making sure I have the appropriate tone

When I am away then with your Mum you’d be

When the phone then rings her big smile, you can see.

No one is allowed that phone to pick

It’s your lover she says, go answer quick.

I hear your voice, I am now in a state of bliss

Oh, how much, all day, that lovely voice, I did miss.

You tell me what you did throughout that day,

I, to you, my news, do also relay

From the tone of your voice I know if you are happy or sad

If it is the former, then I am immensely glad

It’s enough for me to know that you are safe and fine

That’s all that matters to me in my call at nine.

You passed away; I can call you no more

The poems I write, keeps open that dialogue door

I say, in those poems, what I wish lovingly to say

That you would hear, all I can do is hope and pray.

The End

Although all human ends are expected

Saadia’s I never imagined or projected

Her end was never a possibility for me to see

Certainly not before what I expected my end would be

She and life were an inseparable team

She was to my life, it’s shinning beam

She danced to whatever tune life played

From a road of courage, she never swayed

Roadblocks she ignored and never obeyed

Always a winner, and so she stayed.

Her end then came; I felt a sudden slap

I fell, face down, into a discontinuity gap.

My beloved, in a white cloth, they did wrap

She was laid in a hole, with soil on top that they did tap

Her face was covered, as traditions demand

No one will see her but a cloth and sand

A marble cage on top was after some time laid

A tombstone with her name and a Quranic verse was made.

She lived like an eagle; like an eagle she died

Her end was sudden, but she left with pride.

Poems and memorials, will her banner wave

Defying the sadness of her lonely grave

Her story, with pride, I will always tell

While I am alive, I will ring her bell

In gardens and homes, her photos are there

Marble memorials are installed everywhere

Poems about her with the world I’ll share

Engraved on marble and in the cyber air

Her grave maybe silent, but her memories roar

Saadia will be remembered forever more

To ensure that happens is my obsession galore

Her memory is my mission, of that I am sure

Her body, on this earth, is no more to be

But her spirit is everywhere for all to see.

Suggestions

Saadia is talented, I knew she can anything do

So, I used to make suggestions, for actions new

One suggestion that I continuously made

That a piano should, by her, be played

Her fingers I said, in perfection are dipped

They’ll dance at the keys once the piano cover is flipped

Where will we put that piano she laughingly, asked

I am happy, I said, to that assignment to be tasked.

The piano suggestion was never implemented

The need for her patience, its implementation, prevented

Another suggestion that I also tried in vain

That she should learn to fly a helicopter or plane

The sky, I said, she will masterly reign

She looks up to the sky with confidence so plain

But the land logistics made her decide to abstain

Why bother she said, when she can take a piloted plane

Pragmatism flows in Saadia’s every vein.

I also suggested a giraffe to our garden to bring

Of the giraffe’s grandeur, I would continuously sing

Who will take care of that Giraffe she’d laughingly ask

You, I said, covering by hand my eyes like a mask

Knowing full well the impracticality of the task.

My suggestions were intended for me to say

That I believed the talents she had were a vast array.

To my Saadia the impossible, I thought, will always kneel

Surrendering itself to her ability and her will of steel

However, to do the impossible, she must its benefits feel

Otherwise, she’d let others, with that impossible, deal

Her track record implied she had nothing to prove

I knew, if she chooses, then mountains she can move.

Her body was strong, I felt it should defy my earthly time

Yet suddenly and unexpectedly I heard the calling chime

Destiny decreed that her spirit to heaven must climb

Many Moons

There is a song, I sing, with beautiful tunes

That tells of Saadia, appearing as many “moons”

One image of her, you’d think that’s the perfect one

Another image appears, that would equally stun

More images will follow; their flow is never done.

Moons they are, because they reflect a beauty so rare

Each one is mesmerising, if at them you stare

Which one of her many moons can Saadia be

Each one is her, focus and you’ll see

She dresses in style wherever she went

In what is most suited to that event.

The many of her, like stars in the sky

As you look their beauty makes you sigh

She will not be trapped in one single box

Always free from any shackles and locks

She dances to music, yet in courts she debates

She travels everywhere, yet at home happily she stays

Her decisions are based on what circumstances dictates

At best restaurants she eats, yet she is master cook

The recipes she prepares are shown in no book

For her loved ones she shows attention and care

If unfairly confronted her anger will flare

The arrogant will be, swiftly whipped, by her tongue

The meek and needy will be, by her generosity, stung

Her many moons were there for the world to see

But her inner core was restricted to her Mum and me.

T Shirts

In a cupboard in London a set of t shirts reside

From prying eyes, they, in that cupboard hide

The rules by which all her other clothes abide

Are in the case of these specific t shirts set aside.

Their duty is that they should be willing to spoil

If in some home activity she needs to toil.

If such an assignment she gives herself

One of those t shirts comes off the shelf

When such assignments are in play

If I know what’s good for me, I’d stay away

Most of the t shirts are white in colour

Some of them, their colour is duller

Those that are chosen when her hair she tints

They are not allowed to have many stints.

Those homely t shirts no one can see

That condition obviously does not apply to me

Photos of her wearing such t shirts is a sin

If wrongly taken, they end up in the bin.

Those t shirts are designed to be fluffy and wide

With short sleeves or just a slit on the side

When the assignment is over, and she sits to rest

All that she’s done, she would have done with zest

Life to Saadia must with activities flow

Do not anger her by asking her to slow

I’ve seen no day in which she had nothing to do

From the day I met her, until to heaven she flew.

She filled my life with excitement and thrill

Since her passing away, my world stood still

The magic is gone, the excitement has died

All that was bubbly, just fizzled and dried

Talking Eyes

My queen, my dearest, you never looked away

Your eyes, so lovely, had always something to say

One look from you, and your message becomes clear

A laughter you’d induce, or sometimes a tear

One look from you, the world knows what you want

An intruder will, by your look, be quickly daunt

Your eyes miss nothing form everything around

You’d know the score, you need to hear no sound

Your eyes may seem still, but they are on the move

They scan the terrain, it’s every corner and groove

Opinions you’d form, based on what your eyes see

Your conclusions are final, from illusion they are free

Explanations you may hear, but your eyes do not lie

You’d politely listen, while looking up to the sky.

Confusion and doubt are intended for the week

Their promoters will not be able to you to speak

Your attention, to very few, you are willing to spare

Of what is right or wrong you are intuitively aware

You would not, on anything, intensely stare

One glimpse is enough to induce you to care

Patience is a virtue for those with time at hand

Minute precision is what your decisive eyes demand

Those who fail to respect your time’s command

One look from you and they’d feel your reprimand.

Your eyes my darling, with one look, will say it all

They’d lift someone up, or make the person feel so small

Casablanca Airport

At the VIP Lounge at Casablanca Airport, I was sitting

Watching people from the food buffet selecting

I remembered how elegantly to the food counter you walked

And how to the servers there you politely talked

The buffet was supposed, self-service, to be

Yet you were served at our table; others can jealously see

Servers are happy when they see you coming

With your mesmerising smile and beauty so stunning

I proudly sit by your side, my happiness impossible to hide

If what they bring, you think, is not to my taste

You quickly arrange for it to be replaced

Everything about me you instinctively know

Our love for each other did continuously grow.

At VIP lounges together we would always sit

Only the best for you I would consider fit

Your face with your beautiful smile is lit

To match your ever enchanting wit.

How hollow I felt in the lounge today

My excitement with life has gone away

The lounge may appear to be the same

But that it is so I cannot honestly claim.

What made me happy in any place to be

Was your presence sitting together with me.

It was you that mattered and never the place

Wherever you were to that place I would race.

Thirty-three months since you’ve passed away

Surrounded by your memories I daily stay

Any place that I’d go, any setting that I’d see

Triggers some beautiful memory of you and me

Yesterday is forever gone, that I mentally know

But my love on memories can flourish and grow

The poems I write keeps you close to me

Allowing my spirit to be from reality free

Happiness, my dearest, is a state of mind

I am happy with the memories you left behind.

New Year

The first new year celebration we’d together share

Was three months after becoming a loving pair

Lots of things you wished to action and plan

Which we implemented over that time span

It was our first, so we had to do everything right

Avoiding pitfalls that, distracting us, they might

I never celebrated New Year before

I thought it was a pointless chore

But I could see how important it was to you

Celebrating life, you said, is something we should do

Choosing your dress was our first port of call

To Georgio, we went, to buy a dress and its shawl

Each dress he had was a one-off design

Elegantly tailored from cloths so fine.

A blue dress you chose that was stunning on you

Although I thought, anything you wear, is stunning too

Next was to select the place we would dine

Stylish and quiet will be your choice and mine

A Chinese restaurant on a moored boat we chose

To Regent Park that restaurant was very close

The Feng Shang Princess was its given name

Your presence there will certainly add to its fame

We selected our table, at it, we joyfully sat

Since we were on water, you wore a sailor’s celebratory hat

A night together, that all my life I would, remember

To such memories every day I now do surrender

For thirty-six years since our first New Year dance

Every day of which I felt the magic of our ongoing romance

Thirty-six years we celebrated New Year together

You passed away, no more celebrations forever

Should I be happy for the ones we together shared

Or be sad that at no more celebrations we’ll be paired

I thought there’ll be ten or twenty celebrations more

It seems destiny and I kept a different mathematical score

Books

Saadia came to my office with angry looks

Why have you stopped reading any books

You used to carry with you a book or two

I have not seen one recently carried by you

I did not know why she did those comments make

But I calmly decided to correct her mistake

Saadia would rarely her questions explain

No clue as to why she asked, you’d ever gain.

I stood from my chair, as I usually do

Whenever into my office door she comes through

I kissed her hand and said that I love her too

That I know, she with a smile, replied

But why from books have you started to hide

I still read books, I said with a smile

But not on paper but by electronic file.

I pulled my Kindle, with the books I currently read

And how with those books, my mind I do feed

She inspected the Kindle and was now relaxed

The genuine worry she had, has now elapsed

She left my office and downstairs she went

A clear message to me she felt she had sent.

I followed her down proud how her care is true

I kissed her cheeks and her forehead too

On me she said she will keep her eye

On wings of knowledge, I must always fly

What books I read was not important to her

If I stop reading, her anger, I am sure I’ll stir

A true story is this which in this poem I share

Which happened thirty years after we became a pair

In neither of us did indifference to the other ever grow

No matter the years of togetherness we had in tow

Love is not measured in the early days when it is young

But after years, when by experience, you’ve been stung.

Two and a half years after my Saadia passed away

My love for her is as strong as our first meeting day

Thirty-six years of happiness we did together share

Not a day did pass when I did not feel floating in air

Among her memorials I walk; at her many photos I stare

That lovely woman was so talented and so refreshingly rare

I do not claim perfection for her in those words that I talk

But if perfection was human then my Saadia it would stalk.

Conquian

On the carpet we sat, a card game to play

Conquian was its name, the loser must pay

I was happy to lose and for you to win,

The thrill I get was from seeing your grin

As you put down your cards confirming your win.

I am happy to lose again and again

As long as your face, that grin, sustain

The win I seek is being with you

From the day we met, that’s always been true

The love you gave me had no limit or end

You were my only companion and friend

That Conquian game our story did tell

Two lonely people, one night, in love they fell

From their first encounter that love did gel

They did not know what their next card would be

But they were happy to play the game and see.

The history they each carried on their back

Was not allowed their togetherness to crack

For thirty-six years that game of love we played

From each other, we never intentionally strayed

Our days were sunny, with the occasional rain

Yet those occasional droplets we did easily drain.

One Conquian player was invited to heaven to go

It was sudden, nothing in her life was ever slow

Alone I sit with my memories and dreams

Of that lovely Saadia, with a grin that gleams.

In happiness we bathed for thirty-six years

All life must end with sadness and tears

All I wanted was more time on earth with you

Yet destiny decided it’s time to split us two

To the gates of heaven, you were ushered to go

On earth I stayed, for how long, I do not know.

The Conquian game we together played

By a game of Solitaire, it is now replaced

Shipping

An expert in shipping that’s what you were

To your knowledge few, if any, could compare

Whether export or import did the goods demand

You were of their details in full command

Those days there were no computers to use

From your IBM typewriter the information would cruise

All the needed data were at your fingertips

Background documents were held in clips

The shipping folder once ready to the Customs to go

The despatcher you’d send with the file in tow

The recipients at the other end do always know

That Saadia’s file will no mistakes ever show

With the necessary stamps your file is now complete

The checks you had made you once more repeat.

Satisfied that all the conditions are met

Instructions you issue for invoices to be sent.

No one can match the speed of your work

Of your talent the bosses always did talk

Customers visit your office just to say hello

They all seek this efficient Saadia to know

With beauty and talent, a winner you are

A shipping wizard, that shined like a star

In a world of men as a woman you excelled

To new hights you were always propelled

When I met you, you were already a queen

Talents like yours I have rarely seen

No matter the country or the task at hand

Above the rest you would always stand

I had the privilege of half your life to share

From the day we met until you went to heaven’s care

Trousers

When we first met, trousers you would not wear

You said you will not, in London, men’s clothing share

Although in your younger years, trousers you did wear

That was less to do with fashion and more with dare

Equality of the two genders was your strong belief

But elegance and style were still an important motif

As time went by, your approach to fashion changed

You and trousers, in London, were no more estranged

Your cupboards became of your trousers full

Whatever you need one from its hanger you’d pull.

Nearly three years have gone since you passed away

Yet your trousers are in your cupboards and will so stay

All your clothes are hung as you saw them last

Every garment of which celebrating a happy past

Such garments are proud that by you they were worn

Allegiance to only you, each one of them, has sworn

I remember a time when you ventured outdoor

Wearing trousers, we’d bought from a fashion store

We walked in Queensway, and you were smiling

As we talked and joked, in happiness gliding

The trousers we bought was white in colour

It was wide at the bottom, your feet it did cover

A light blue shirt, with a scarf to match

A long white jacket from the same batch

Your blue sapphire ring was on your left hand

And a light blue handbag with a shoulder band

I remember that sight as if it was yesterday

The day you wore trousers in Queensway

Everything you did or you happened to say

In my mind those memories will always stay

Like a film in my mind, they continuously play

Making me feel that I’m with you night and day

I’ll keep writing poems about your illustrious life

Celebrating that gorgeous lady that became my wife

Clever and Bright

Saadia was unique and immensely bright

With an instinctive feel as to what is right

The truth she demands, whatever it may be

A pragmatic solution to any problem, she’ll see

From a sad reality she will never hide

Problems she’d tackle with gusto and pride

In the art of winning, she did always excel

If something is workable, she can easily tell

Empty words she would never buy or sell

With firm steps, her life, she did to heights propel

The mandatory chores of life she’ll do

But to weakness, she will never subdue

She is happy to take her turn in a queue

Yet any queuing she rarely needs to do

When Saadia smiles, life does smile back

Suddenly she is ahead of the rest of the pack

Doubt is not something she does entertain

A decision she made, she will not revisit again

If circumstances change a new path she will take

She will change direction but not call it a mistake

Extremely practical and targeted, my Saadia, is

The opinions of others are just bubbles and fizz

With polite silence she will listen to what others say

But only by her rules, will any game, she will play

Intuition and will power are her weapons of choice

Experience, for her, carries a well-respected voice

In verifying a trust, she strongly believed

Her caution protects her from being deceived

To events she was a master, never a slave

To bullying and threats she would never cave.

Saadia’s talent was in managing risk

From a set of options, she’d know what to pick

She was always adventurous and always brisk

Knowing what buttons she needs to click.

Dancing Electrons

Two electrons in an orbit continuously dance

Individuals they are yet linked by romance

Saadia and I did like those electrons behave

Individuals yet moving entangled as a wave

In one orbit together we chose to be in

Dancing happily as we joyfully spin

The orbit that we chose, was ours alone

No more electrons into that orbit are drawn

Our purpose was with life to jointly dance

And to live together in perpetual romance

Our code of conduct was only by us defined

Occasionally, with learning, it is suitably refined

Our orbit was exciting and in a dynamic state

Nothing outside it, does its conditions dictate

In outer orbits, other electrons are invited to join

But they did always remain in orbits that adjoin

An electron is a puzzle, that we did accept

Its unpredictable behaviour is clear to detect

What is today, do not tomorrow, from it expect

That is what we were and what we chose to be

Two electrons in an orbit, just Saadia and me

Destiny decreed our physical orbit to rapture

I was forced to start a new lonely chapter

An orbit of memories I proceeded to capture